If this girl gets any more gorgeous, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. I wasn’t a Nirvana fan growing up, and the mere thought of Courtney Love makes me want to throw up in my mouth COMPLETELY, so to begin deeply admiring the offspring of the grossest woman in Hollywood and the man that she probably murdered sort of freaks me out a little bit.

These photos are the most recent that’ve emerged of Frances doing some kind of modeling shoot. And once again, I’m totally taken aback at how striking this young girl is, and I think – as long as she doesn’t follow the road of her, um, mother – she’ll retain this mysterious, alluring image for quite some time. I’m curious to see what this chick’s going to end up doing with her life, aren’t you?

Tara Reid’s weird stomach on her weird honeymoon. [The Superficial]

Is Jessica Simpson taking stripper lessons? [Lainey Gossip]

The Kardashians are wearing Sears fashions. [Bossip]

Who was “saved” by Scientology? [Starpulse]

Did Bravo make this guy kill himself? Family says “someone’s to blame.” [ICYDK]

Wall-E: The Cannibal Years? [Pajiba]

Oh look who else quit Hollywood. [Huff Po]

The very latest Breaking Dawn movie poster. [CDL]

Celebrity “most wanted body parts.” [theBERRY]

Brooke Hogan and the 2 Headed Shark Attack. [Caught on Set]

Lindsay went to see Adele wearing this. LOL [Cele|bitchy]

Megan Fox boob job photo? [Celebrity Rant]

Anne Hathaway says Snooki’s her twin. [The Blemish]

Kim Kardashian’s wearing three dresses to get married? [INFDaily]

“The only thing I don’t like on young people is plastic surgery. The purity of youthful beauty is so fantastic to me that it’s horrific when young girls get fake things.”

Helen Mirren on, of course, plastic surgery.

I think she’s sending a good message here, and I like Helen a lot. However, this, coming from someone who’s publicly spoken in the past about being OK with plastic surgery, though she’s never allegedly gotten any herself, is probably kind of confusing to those young’uns she’s referring to. I mean, where’s the line? Does “young people” end at eighteen? Twenty-one? Thirty? It’s really all open to interpretation – especially if you ask our new friend Courtney Stodden. Sheesh.

Which is probably OK with a lot of you guys, because you can’t understand my fascination with this woman as it is, but hey – I don’t understand the fascination with Katy Perry or Lady Gaga, so at least we’re all on an even keel with one another here, you feel me?

Anyhoo, these are the latest photos from Rosie‘s Maxim shoot – some never-before-seen footage of Rosie’s backside and heaving cleavage and adorable little nose, and I’m just tickled to death to share a world with someone who’s so damned purty.

How do you feel about Rosie-girl?

As if you’d ever look to Jersey Shore for fashion advice!

Youth clothing outlet Abercrombie & Fitch offered money to the Jersey Shore cast to not wear Abercrombie’s clothing. Yeah, like that’d make my 15-year-old self more likely to wear one of Abercrombie’s dumb T-shirts.

Then, after the company advised Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to stop wearing its threads, Abercrombie’s stock fell by 7.5%. Ha!

“If [Abercrombie] Don’t Want Us To Wear Those Clothes,” Pauly D wisely tweeted, “Why Make GTL Shirts?” Sure enough, Abercrombie has been making bank on Jersey Shore‘s popularity! Nice catch, Pauly!

Best of all: King of the whole brouhaha is castmate Vinny Guadagnino—he’s the brand-new spokesman for Phillips Norelco.

Sometimes, or, well, a lot of times, celebrities will put something on their bodies (clothes, not semen), and my only reaction is “why?” There’s this confused, lost little lamb look that goes along with it, and if it’s really bad, a genuine pouty face, but that’s the gist. And that whole sequence is exactly what took place when I saw this picture of Zooey Deschanel at the Our Idiot Brother premiere.

I love Zooey Deschanel. Love, love, love her. I love her music, I think she’s insanely gorgeous, I simply adore her. But this dress? It’s not right. I’m sorry, but it’s not. I think Zooey’s the kind of pretty girl who should just stick with ultra simple clothing items, you know, like nice jeans or potato sacks, because all these frills and possibly homicidal neck ruffles just take away from that magical natural beauty, right?