Well, my brain just exploded. Of course, I’m on my all-new no-sugar, no-carbs diet, so any mention of hamburgers, hot dogs, or ex-New Kids on the Block makes me ravenous. Still, this is straight-up incredible news: Marky Mark and brother Donnie Wahlberg are opening a burger joint called Wahlburgers. Reportedly, every burger will come dressed in a tiny pair of Calvin Klein undies, with miniature abs carved into each individual bun. Just kidding! But that would be great if it were true, right?
The AV Club:
Next year the brothers also plan to open a pizzeria, which also doesn’t have an amusing name yet. Honestly, they sort of blew their wad with Wahlburgers. But surely you can imagine all sorts of hilarious Wahlberg-based menu items for them, such as the Hangin’ Tough Hanger Steak maybe, or the Marky Mark And The Funky Lunch Special, or Dirk Diggler’s Footlongs, or the Eyein’-My Lemon Drink, and then, if you ever get the chance to visit his restaurant, you can personally suggest them to a patiently smirking Mark Wahlberg while he stares at you like he wants to punch your face.
Hee hee! Should your mom visit Wahlburgers, say hi to her for me!