Whoooaaaaa! Did you feel that? That was the Earth settling contentedly on its axis, as all the Cosmos shrug: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are flat broke. Or at least, that’s what the couple reports in a piteous new interview.
But perhaps they are also a little older, a little wiser? Hmm.
Spencer illuminates how the couple blew their meager fortune:
My whole million-dollar wardrobe—I would never wear that again. They’re props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props. I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.
Yep. And by the way, said truck was sold last month, to the tune of… $5,500. Oh, boy. Now the couple is living rent-free in Spencer’s parents’ vacation house.
Heidi, duly wistful about her plastic surgeries:
Obviously I wish I didn’t do it. I would go back and not have any surgery. It doesn’t help. I got too caught up in Hollywood, being so into myself and my image. I don’t regret anything, but if I could go back, I wouldn’t do it.
Spencer, on the couple’s foolhardy pursuit of fame:
Everything we were doing, in retrospect, was a mistake. The second we continued on our quest for fame was a mistake. This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.
Ah, hubris! Thy name is Spencer:
What we learned is: You can be too famous.
NO, SPENCER, THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT—oh, never mind. Sigh.