When I heard they were making a movie based on the board game Battleship, I was thrilled.

The way I envisioned it, the movie opens on a suburban, single dad and his 9-year-old son: they’re in the middle of some kind of spat, maybe having to do with Absent Mom. Anyway, now the 9-year old is giving Dad the cold shoulder.

So Dad sets up the board game in the living room, a sort of invitation for Son to work through his anger issues. From there, maybe it could be like Zathura crossed with The Fall, where Son’s idea of war, as projected onto the game board, is really innocent, all blue skies and little green army men. Dad, in the meantime, is some kind of history buff or academic, so his imagined version of war is all facts and data and dehumanization and Spielberg fog.

And both versions of “war” are very inadequate and naive, at least at the beginning. But maybe, as they play on—finally broaching what really happened to Mom and Dad’s relationship, say—the Son’s idea of the world-at-war slowly becomes less plastic, grittier and more nuanced, while Dad’s version, gradually populated with people and real casualties, becomes more human and sensitive. Something eventually happens to cause neither Dad nor Son to win (a tipped coffee table, perhaps?), but you can count on a touching emotional resolution by movie’s end.

But—ha, ha!—I was wrong. That isn’t how the movie goes at all! Alas, we got this instead (via WSJ):

All petty snark aside, Ke$ha seriously looks gorgeous in these photos. One hundred percent beautiful – no question about it. And there’s not even an innuendo of oral sex involved. That, my friends? Is a sign of true talent. That’s some good picture-taking right there.

You can also check out some of Terry’s other stuff on his website, Terry’s Diary. There are some pretty nice photos of Amy Winehouse circa 2007 that’ll tug at your heartstrings if these photos of Ke$ha looking as soft as a newborn kitten didn’t do it for you.

Pete Wentz, for one, was never one that came up on my radar as anything but weird and … weird. I never got the Fall Out Boy thing (except for ‘Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down’ – what a great song, right?), never got the whole ‘attracted to Ashlee Simpson‘ thing, nor did I get the weird hairstyles and all the sappy emo brooding.

That being said, holy hell on these photos of Pete Wentz looking HOT.

Is this what divorcing Ashlee Simpson does to a person? Because if it is, heck. I want in.

Images courtesy of I’m Not Obsessed

Image courtesy Daily Gab

A few days ago, a letter-writer emailed the Awful Truth, wondering why Kate Bosworth wasn’t around when Alex Skarsgård received his doctorate. A prescient question! Now we know the real reason we never see these kids together anymore: they totally aren’t dating.

After two years, the couple is dunzo, splitsville, finito, over. “It was very mutual,” Us reports, “and it happened a while ago.”

Mutual, huh? Lainey Gossip tells a different story:

I’ve also heard from multiple and varied contacts that [Kate Bosworth] keeps stalking his hangouts, just, like, dropping by the gym/cafe/whatever to see if he’s around, front like it would be an unplanned encounter, make him realize he misses her and wants her back. Apparently this has worked once.

Salacious! Sad, though, because we never had a chance to give this couple a nickname. Skarsworth? Bosgard? Well, whatever.

Girlfriend here is on the cover of Glamour and she’s got some business she wants to talk over with you.  For September 2011, Rihanna gets both sassy and serious.

On hating drama … and perfection: “I hate drama. But at the same time, nothing bothers me more than when life’s perfect. And that’s the sick part. I just love a challenge, whether it’s a relationship, my career, clothing…”

On her attention-getting sense of style: “Getting dressed, I want to pick the most bizarre pair of shorts so I can figure out how to make it look right, or work an outfit that will make people go, ‘What the hell is she wearing?’”

On dealing with how messy life can get: “I think honesty is the ultimate liberation in life. People want to shy away from the truth and keep sweeping it under the rug. But after a while, you pick up the rug and there’s just way too much dirt, so you might as well just be up front about it.”

On being a role model for young girls: “I want to set the right example and, at the same time, live my life….I feel like pop stars can’t be rock stars anymore because they have to be role models, and it takes the fun out of it for us, because we just want to have fun with art.”

On being a “man in the bedroom”: “I play a very dominant role in my life, in every aspect of it. And I like to feel like a lady still, at some point. I feel like that’s the time when a guy really gets to be a man, and I get to be a woman. And if I’m being a man in the bedroom too, there’s nothing really in it for me. ”

I suppose it’s alright. She’s, I think, coming more into her own, not placating the press, and not doing that whole ridiculous over-the-top thing that she was so famous for over the past year. It’s getting better, and that’s all I can ask. Also? At the end of the day, Rihanna is definitely one of those women who are way hotter when they’re not showing the world their private parts through a song.

Denise Richards has the craziest, best crazy eyes I’ve ever seen on a person. [The Superficial]

Alexander Skarsgard and Kate Bosworth break up. [Celebuzz]

Paris Hilton’s plastic surgery-free childhood photos. [theBerry]

Kim Kardashian is buying special lingerie to conceal her psoriasis. [INFDaily]

More deleted scenes from Star Wars? [Starpulse]

Kelly Rowland gets all emotional over Beyonce. [Bossip]

Blake Fielder-Civil claims he could have “saved” Amy Winehouse. [TMZ]

Julia Roberts ad banned because of excessive Photoshop. And now we’re finally on the right track. [Socialite Life]

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFFs once again. [Amy Grindhouse]

The Daily Show warns about repercussions of same-sex marriage. [The Frisky]

Kate Beckinsale doesn’t even look like Kate Beckinsale anymore. [Caught on Set]

Exclusive photos of Evangeline Lilly’s baby boy. [Celebuzz]

Battleship trailer! [Pajiba]

Eddie Cibrian poses naked for a bedding line. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Leighton Meester and Justin Long are dating now. [Cele|bitchy]

John Cusack: hotter as the years go by. [Huff Po]

Eddie Murphy’s gorgeous new girlfriend. [Bossip]