Does anybody even say that anymore? You know, aside from this bitch? I remember my dad used to say that a lot when I was little, so maybe it’s some weird eighties thing. Or maybe it was just a weird dad thing, because I was rather young for some of the eighties, and maybe I just don’t remember all that well.

Anyway, here we have photos of Lindsay Lohan on the beach at Paradise Cove. Girlfriend hasn’t wasted any time in resuming her natural way of life, nor has she hesitated in retreating back to her leg-humping boozehound ways.

Good to see that though some Hollywood stars try to grow up, and some, you know, die – or worse, lose all of their movie credibility because of one stupid comment – that we can rely on good old Lindsay Lohan to be keeping it real and chilling on the beach with some random dude who has an impressive beer gut. You just do you, girl, and we’ll sit back and … laugh.

Have a happy and safe fourth!

From us here at Evil Beet, to you out there, whether you celebrate Independence Day or not. Enjoy, and have a happy and safe one!

… No? >< You know, I'd really rather not ... But try this one then, I guess.

Happy now, are you? Ugh.

Raven-Symoné is killing it. Lately, the woman is a sexy shadow of her former self, which can only be the product of hard work and masochism.

Even at her biggest she usually looked A-OK, I always thought, except for her penchant for wearing none-too-flattering curtains and togas. (And now that she’s lost 70 pounds, I think she should try uncovering her upper arms. Come on, lady.)

The cruel irony: on her new ABC Family show, “State of Georgia,” Raven-Symoné essentially has to wear a fat suit. She tells The Insider,

Well, Georgia started off as a bigger girl, and yes, I did have to wear body pads. I wore the same amount of body pads to make me the size that I was when I left “That’s So Raven.” [bursts into giggles] Which, everybody was complaining that I was too big.

As the show goes on, she hopes that they’ll write her weight out of the scripts. “One, the show shouldn’t be about weight,” she says. Then she turns cynical: “Eventually, I really don’t want to wear pads. You know? Because as a female I’m going to fluctuate, monthly—please keep that in, I don’t care—as a female I’m gonna fluctuate monthly, let alone fluctuate through relationships, let alone fluctuate because… they might add salt more to something that I eat that I don’t know about, and then I gotta stop eating that.”

The helplessness of this last sentiment rings really true to me, because I am currently on my 28-day upswing (you can especially see it in my cankles), and every time I accidentally glance at a mirror, I think “How is this even possible,” and then I make a puffer-fish face at myself. I will feel normal again later this week.

The end is almost here, you guys. Can you believe it? After so many years of wonderful adventures and so many different rollercoasters of emotion (why, no, I am still not ok with what happened to Sirius), in less than two weeks, it’s going to be over. And Daniel Radcliffe, sweetheart that he is, is willing to give almost pointless interviews to ease the pain. Here are some quotes from The Boy Who Lived himself:

On his whole Potter experience: “I feel like It’s been a huge learning curve and I’ve been fortunate enough to work with some of the best actors in the world,” Radcliffe said. “I feel like to a certain extent that I’ve been in the best film/drama school that anyone could wish for because there’s no better way to learn something than by doing it.”

On the upcoming movie: “I was actually really pleased,” Radcliffe said with a smile. “I was very nervous going in because had I not been pleased then I probably would’ve been in a downward spiral and I probably wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it as much. But thankfully I was just delighted and so proud, and it’s a very good film. I do think Alan Rickman gives the film performance of his career in this movie.”

On Ron and Hermione’s kiss: “What’s nice is that it’s there but it’s not lingered on,” Radcliffe said. “I’m sure Ron and Hermione will get a big applause from the audience, and they should, they’ve been waiting long enough to see that happen. But what’s lovely is the part after they break up and start laughing, I can see that it’s just Rupert and Emma.”

On being a hero: “I think for a while I took for granted that I was playing an action hero,” Radcliffe said. “I’ve had to remind myself that it’s not very often in an actor’s career that you get to play action heroes, and there was a moment on the second film that I got to burst through the water into a ring of fire, and I actually did that. And I thought, if my career continues for another hundred years, I probably won’t get to do that. So, that was pretty cool.”

This is going to be a hard movie, isn’t it? I’m starting to accept that fully. For instance, my BFF and I were going to go alone, as a sort of ceremonial thing (we’ve seen every movie but the first together at midnight, isn’t that darling?), but we decided to bring along a couple of boys, mostly because it’ll be fun to have a big dress-up party beforehand (I think we’re doing James and Lily and Narcissa and Lucius, which will be adorable), but partly so we can have designated drivers so we can sit in the backseat and hold each other while we sob uncontrollably.

Do you guys have any neat plans for the premiere? Do you think you’ll handle it more gracefully than I will?

I know what you’re thinking: “oh, another gallery of Geri Halliwell in a bikini, I get to see some nipples today!” Well, perv, there will be no Ginger Spice nipple action happening on this day, but you get something even better. You get a far-fetched theory involving magic and sea creatures. And really, which one sounds better?

Ok, see, some people might think that since there’s photo after photo of Geri Halliwell playing in the water and rocking bikinis, she must be on vacation. But I say “nay,” for I believe that there are mystical forces in this world that Geri has tapped into, and that she’s using that power to achieve her dream of living out the rest of her days under the sea. The lovely red hair, the steady decrease in relevance – add it all up and it’s clear. We have but a few more precious moments to observe Geri in our world before she descends into the ocean to be where she belongs.

Or, you know, have some pictures of Geri Halliwell looking hot in some swimwear. Whichever.

Andrew Keegan – you guys know Andrew Keegan.  He was the guy in 10 Things I Hate About You who wasn’t Heath Ledger or Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He was also on 7th Heaven, and one of my favorite ridiculous movies, A Midsummer Night’s Rave.  I also could have absolutely sworn that he was in the first episode of Buffy, but it turns out that that’s Eric Balfour, who, in my defense, does look a bit similar. So we’re all caught up on Andrew Keegan then? Good, because if you’re not, then he’s tough enough to make you sorry.

See, this weekend, Andrew had a little party at his house, and everybody was jammin’ pretty good, you know, having a good ol’ time. That is, until some total square called the cops because the music was a little too loud. Andrew wasn’t about to stop his groove, and you know what that means – taser!

This is where things get a little shady in the story.  Witnesses said that Andrew got “very aggressive,” which earned him a healthy little dose of electricity, but police are saying that nobody got arrested and definitely nobody got tasered.

I think this sounds like a little bit of a cover up, but why cover up roughing up some douchebag who hasn’t been relevant for the past decade, you know?  Don’t get me wrong, if there was some excessive violence, that’s certainly not right, but like, this is Andrew Keegan. Don’t make a big deal, and there won’t be a big deal.