I know, I was shocked by the notion too, but something tells me that, unlike her previous efforts, Ke$ha‘s next album is going to be mediocre to all right. Doesn’t it feel like the world is shifting a little bit?

Here’s Ke$ha’s quote that makes me feel like she’s capable of producing something that’s not absolute trash in the near future:

“I definitely want the next record to be experimental and I would love to play with all the different sounds of the music I listen to. I really want some dirty guitar and I wouldn’t mind if there were elements of blues.”

Some bluesy elements? Yes please! See, the thing is that Ke$ha’s always saying that she can really sing, she’s just having a good time halfway rapping about booze or whatever it is she’s doing now. But couldn’t you see her settling in with a nice guitar and just knocking our socks off? No? Well, learn how to dream.

In absolutely terrifying news, Paris Hilton‘s stalker James Rainford was arrested—on the beach, and shirtless—Monday afternoon. Another beachgoer noticed Rainford spying into the window of Hilton’s Malibu beach house and immediately phoned the authorities.

Rainford was arrested for violating “a valid restraining order prohibiting him from being within 200 yards of Miss Hilton or her residence,” according to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department.

That court order went into effect in January; in April, Rainford assaulted Hilton’s then-boyfriend Cy Waits. Rainford was immediately arrested at the scene, all the while insisting that Paris Hilton’s father had “given him permission to marry her,” TMZ reported. He was sentenced to 227 days in jail for misdemeanor battery, but he was released early. Obviously.

Rainford is being held on $20,000 bail which, honestly, is not enough money. There isn’t enough money. This guy is scary.

Pack your carpet bags! Put on your wicker hats!

I wasn’t going to bother covering Will and Kate‘s boat race, but then I discovered they raced each other at Prince Edward Island. Prince Edward Island! That means the boat race is singleboatedly the most exciting thing to ever occur at Prince Edward Island, if the events of the Anne of Green Gables books don’t count—which, they shouldn’t. They’re fiction.

Anyway, Prince William and bride Kate are touring the Great White North, and yesterday they raced boats in front of a huge audience. And Will just couldn’t help himself: he kicked Kate’s ass. According to the Mirror, Duchess Kate “jokingly tried to push Prince William into the water” afterward. Yeah, “jokingly.”

The prince reveled in his team’s dragon boat victory as he mingled with well-wishers.

A woman in the crowd said: “That wasn’t very gentlemanly. He might think it’s funny now but wait until they get home.”

Prince William, the victor, accepted a bottle of champagne, saying, “There is no chivalry in sport.” The little old lady in the audience was right: Kate is probably biding her time until she can poison him.

Listen. My boyfriend thinks it’s sooo-ooooo cute and charming of him when he beats me at Virtua Fighter and, yes, I get sour, because he obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just sits there pushing all the buttons at once. And then he gets away with it by telling me, “Well, I knew you’d get all angry if I just let you win, so I didn’t!” What an idiot.

Will and Kate have visited Ontario, Quebec, and Nova Scotia so far. And the Mirror reports that, sometime today, Will and Kate are playing street hockey in Yellowknife. Get him, Kate.

Isn’t that, like, on the way to death? When someone gets so skinny that their stomach goes all distended? I mean, that’s what I see, at least, when those horrible commercials featuring starving children across the world. I mean, it’s either that or she’s pregnant. But I have a hard time believing that, just like I have a hard time believing that she’s actually getting regular periods being this skinny*, you know?

Also, it’s amusing: the thinner LeAnn gets, the fatter Nappy McSquintnuts seems to get.

*To be fair, LeAnn is actually looking a bit healthier in some of these photos than she has over the last few months.  But that doesn’t mean she’s still not in danger.  Girl.

At 2:15 PM EST today, the jurors in the Casey Anthony trial reconvened in Orlando to announce their verdicts.

As the first of the seven verdicts was read aloud, Casey Anthony sobbed, then visibly regained her composure. She was found not guilty of first-degree murder, manslaughter, and child abuse. She was, however, found guilty on four counts of providing false information to law enforcement.

Casey Anthony’s daughter, Caylee, was reported missing in July 2008. Her remains were discovered in a wooded area five months later.

Apparently Nick Jonas can still draw a crowd – his recent performance at a Microsoft store had tons and tons of squeeing, swooning young women, and what trendy trendsetter would be complete without his very own rendition of a popular Lady Gaga song?

What do you guys think?