Oh, Jennifer Aniston. You’ve come a long way, baby. It’s been a rough ride, but word on the street is that things are finally working out for you. You’re moving in with your boyfriend, Justin Theroux, and nobody really cares about that 14 year fling he had right before he met you. There’s some talk of motherhood in the future! And you know what would be the icing on the cake here? A WEDDING!

Star is reporting that Jennifer wants to marry Justin before 2012 in a small, private ceremony in Mexico. Sources are saying that Jen “feels there’s no reason to wait” and that “she’s never felt more comfortable nor felt she had so much in common with a man as she does with Justin.” And what would the hottest woman of the decade wear to such an event? A “short off-white” or “pastel” dress, natch!

Well, we’ll see, I suppose. I honestly think that after all this time, Jennifer has a pretty solid idea out of what she wants out of a relationship, but what’s the rush? Wouldn’t it be more fun to savor all the stages of a relationship than to jump ahead so far?

Do we love Rosario Dawson or what? I’ve always thought that she was really pretty in a unique sort of way, and hey, she was in Rent. She wasn’t my favorite Mimi – I don’t care what my friends say, Daphne Rubin-Vega will always be the Mimi of my heart – but she was still lovely. And now Rosario is covering this month’s issue of Shape, and I think even more highly of her for her lovely words:

“I remember everyone asking when I was doing press for the movie (Rent), ‘What did you do to look so thin? You looked great’ and I’m like, ‘I looked emaciated’ … It’s a form of violence, in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be — for what sake? Not health, not survival, not enjoyment of life but just so you could look pretty. I’m constantly telling girls all the time, ‘Everything’s airbrushed, everything’s retouched. None of us look like that.”

You know, I respect the hell out of Rosario Dawson for saying this. It’s a real shame seeing amazingly beautiful ladies being Photoshopped to hell, and it’s sad to think that younger girls might think that that’s what they should actually look like. But hey, with Mimi Marquez, the heroin addict/stripper with a heart of gold, telling little ladies not to worry about Hollywood’s ridiculous standards for physical beauty, things just might be looking up!

Image courtesy of Jezebel

I am truly shocked. I am shocked and appalled and dismayed by the notion that Jesse James might have actually slept around with other ladies while engaged to Kat Von D, and that’s the reason that they broke up. Here, read the full story from Radar while I gather myself:

According to an eyewitness, Jesse and Kat had a verbal argument outside of her Los Angeles, California, home Monday afternoon about another woman before Kat finally told him to leave.

“They were outside and I could hear them fighting. Kat kept throwing some woman’s name out and arguing about how she didn’t like him living so far away,” the source exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

“Jesse finally said, ‘Fine, f*ck you!’ and sped away on his motorcycle. Kat sat in her Bentley with her head on the steering wheel for about three minutes before finally driving away.”

“It was clear from the tone of the conversation that Kat was accusing Jesse of something with this other woman,” the eyewitness said.

Honestly, you think you know somebody and then something like this happens. Who are we supposed to trust in this world? Who are we supposed to look up to in these trying times? Who didn’t see this coming from a zillion miles away?

The hottest photos of Ralph Fiennes. [theBerry]

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ass might be better than Kim Kardashian’s these days. [The Superficial]

Dog sings song with owner. [INFDaily]

Harrison Ford settles a feud with Chewbacca. [Starpulse]

Apparently it’s a big deal that Tamara Mowry married a white man. [Bossip]

Is it weird to think Sean Penn’s son is kind of hot? [Cele|bitchy]

The Wizard of Oz prequel is supposed to be good, I guess. [LA Times]

Kim Kardashian‘s really picky about what her guests wear to her wedding. [TMZ]

Mommyrexia is a NYC white girl thing, apparently. [The Frisky]

30 Seconds to Mars splitting up? [Socialite Life]

Kelly Osbourne calls Christina Aguilera a “fat bitch.” [OMGBlog]

Did Amy Winehouse die of not drinking? [Yeeeah]

Candid shots of Blake Lively on the set of her new movie. Hot. [Caught on Set]

I’m surprised this woman can even still move her face. [Amy Grindhouse]

A gallery of eligible Miami men. [Bossip]

Scarlett Johansson is not as nice as other celebrities. [ICYDK]

Excuse me a second, I’ve laughed myself into such a state that I thought I was going to throw up for a second. I’m all better now, but this was a tough thing to follow Deena Cortese’s bare bum, you know? My stomach was kind of on the edge there as it were.

Anyway, this is Ryan Gosling‘s newest look for his latest film, The Place Beyond the Pines, where he plays a motorcycle-riding stuntman who turns to a life of crime to support his family. Not only do I laugh because the hair is just so, so bad (I’m not even touching the Crybaby-like tattoo – and eyeliner? Is that eyeliner?), but the thought of Ryan Gosling playing a hardened criminal just tickles me deep in a place I can’t talk about here.

Bradley Cooper also stars in the film, which is set to release sometime in 2013, and I sincerely hope that the production designers and wardrobe specialists didn’t share Ryan’s brassy little secret with him, too. There’d be no way for me to keep a straight face.

Are you loving Ryan’s bad-boy (LOL!) style?

Deena Cortese was photographed wearing something very tight and very white with a very obvious lack of panties. And all that? Wasn’t even the bad part. It was when she bent over and offered us a full view of her bunghole.. That’s probably the part that cuts the deepest.

I know, I know. I’m going to hell for posting this. But I figured if I’m going to hell, there’s probably a lot of fun people out there who are going to come with me for jumping in and viewing the uncensored version.

If you peeked, leave a comment and let me know. I’d like to start mailing the RSVPs on our behalf. Bring your skimpiest clothes. I hear it’s pretty warm there this time of year.

(more…)