Ever since Nadya “Octomom” Suleman made that comment that she hated her zillion babies and then unconvincingly denied it, I’ve been keeping an eye out for this lady. I just knew that laying low for a few months after those weird fetish photos came out simply would not do, and that she was going to have to do something soon to stay in the spotlight. And let me just tell you, I am so glad that I did.

Remember 3rd Rock from the Sun?  Now remember Kristen Johnson, the woman who played Sally? Ok, now picture these two ladies getting into a little fight because Kristen is a reasonable human being and gets a little on edge by listening to eight babies screaming in a tight space. Got it?  Love it? Good.

Here’s the story from TMZ:

Nadya Suleman was flying back from New York City last night and her and the brood took up most of the business class section of the plane. The flight was delayed for more than two hours and Nadya tried to silence the kids — to no avail.

The crying babies annoyed the “3rd Rock from the Sun” star so much, she marched over to Nadya and told her keep it down.

Nadya’s rep tells TMZ Nadya fired back, “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?” To which Kristen allegedly responded, “Get more help!”

The rep says Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”

Eventually Kristen returned to her seat, but according to Nadya’s rep … Kristen got off the plane and never returned.

And now, thanks to Octomom, I never need to experience that awkward moment when I get into an argument and can’t come up with a good insult.  No, now whenever my roommate calls me the C word or some trashy girl at the mall blatantly hits on my boyfriend, I’ll skip right past the stuttered “suck it” and jump right on ahead to “why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”

Love you, girl!  Appreciate you!

We’ve all seen Toddlers and Tiaras, right? I mean, I feel like it’s about three years too late to ask that question, seeing as how I started watching it after our very own Sasha called it her new favorite show back in 2009, but I reckon it’s still valid. And even if you haven’t seen it, I’m sure you can appreciate this hilarious clip anyway. Happy Saturday, you know?

On this delightful day, why don’t you take a moment to share with us one of your favorite YouTube videos? Things are a little chill right now, a little relaxed, I think we can all take some time to add a little sprinkle of hilarity into our lives.

It really was touch and go for a while with Kate Middleton, no joke. Like, of course she was stunning and beautiful and graceful and all that during that one wedding, but she often gives off a sort of bitchy vibe too. But then this precious little girl with cancer got this notion that she wanted to meet Kate. Here’s the girl’s letter:

“Dear Princess Kate. My name is Diamond Ann. I am six. I was named after Princess Diana. My Mommy Memory is in heaven with her.

I have cancer. I spend a lot of time at the hospital. I watched you get married from my bed there. You looked pretty.

I like playing Princess dress up. My favourite princess is Aurora. Who is yours. I would really like to meet you. Do you want to meet me too? “

And not to be mean, but any cold-hearted bitch who could refuse a request like that doesn’t deserve to be anything at all in this world, much less a princess. I could probably come up with something harsher than that, but thankfully I don’t need to, because Kate was a doll and, at a little stop on the great Canada tour, she took some time to meet little Diamond Ann.

So are we all crying again or what? And does Kate have our official seal of approval?

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”

-Gwyneth Paltrow being the most pretentious person.

I just can’t right now, you guys. I dislike Gwyneth so strongly, and it’s so early in the morning, and I just don’t have it in me right now to rip her to shreds like I really, really want to. If you could just pick this one up for me, I’d appreciate it so much.

I know we spend a lot of time blathering mindlessly about how gorgeous Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is, and I’m not even going to change my tune this time to switch it up just a little bit. Girl here has got to be one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, seriously. I mean, I subscribe to Women’s Health, and the July/August 2011 cover features ours truly. It sits on the lower level of my glass-topped coffee table, and I’m able to see it from all angles of my living room as I stuff my face with doughnuts and Frappuccinos out of sheer jealousy and frustration.

No, I’m kidding. Doughtnuts and Frappuccinos are actually pretty gross, but the rest is all true.

“Nice meeting you. My name is Robert Pattinson, and I am a gay vampire.”

Oh this is gonna turn out well. Especially with the Two and a Half Men reboot coming up. My man Ashton may well have lost a few female fans (if that’s at all possible) with a recent comment he made about my favorite vampire heartthrob, Robert Pattinson.

Ashton made the “joke” on a Brazilian television show. From what I hear, too, it kind of fell flat.

I’m sure it’s probably all in good fun, but throwing a current object of obsession under the bus when you used to be quite an object of affection yourself only kind of looks a little bitter and desperate. Stick to trying to fill Charlie Sheen‘s shoes. You fit that mold much, much better, friend.