Isn’t that so funny about Hollywood and movies and actors? That, given the right set of circumstances, they’ll fall hopelessly in love while on the set? It worked for these guys, it worked for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie … I know that if I were an independently wealthy and marginally-talented actress, I’d pay my agent to only cast me in Adrien Brody features. Every time. Because chances would be, one of those times would be the juggernaut. And then I could fade back into obscurity with Adrien Brody as my MAN and I would WIN FOREVER.

Also, this movie looks pretty good, but didn’t they kind of give away the plot twist halfway through the trailer?

“My old website got hacked. Someone issued a ‘coming out’ statement on my behalf. I’m still straight and in love with my girlfriend. But not too straight; I still love musicals, brunch and Doogie Howser.”

Zach Braff, on his Facebook account, explaining recent rumors that he’s gay. His “old website” in question claimed:

“To all my loyal fans, I have been hiding this secret inside me for too long… The human mind can only bare (sic) so much before it explodes in emotions, and well… it is time that I let the world know. I am excited and proud to announce that I am an open member of the homosexual community. This is not news to those closest to me, and I honor that they have kept it a secret for such a long time. This doesn’t change anything. I am still Zach Braff, and I am the same man I’ve always been, gay or not ;)”

There you have it, friends. Totally not gay.

Well maybe just a little bit. But enough to keep his girlfriend interested, so I suppose he’s won all over the place here.

I have been so good lately. Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden keep giving incredible interviews, and I have sanctimoniously sidestepped each one. My mettle deserves a medal.

But I officially give up.

The Week in Review: After verifying that Courtney Stodden is 16 (she really, really is), Good Morning America interviewed the newlywed couple. And you didn’t hear a single peep out of me. Nope! (Even though I wanted so badly to post a link to this.)

More recently, E! interviewed Mr. and Mrs. Hutchison, whereupon Hutchison again blasted rumors that his wife has had plastic surgery (and in fact, she probably hasn’t).

In that same interview, Hutchison says that his marriage has been a boon to his career: “What’s kind of blown my mind about how this has all gone so global and viral,” he told E!, “is that I have had more opportunity now. I’ve been courted by producers, directors, agents… record executives.” Which is good news because, soon after his wedding, Hutchison was reportedly dropped by his agent (and his mom).

(more…)

Ever since I saw Danny Gans perform in Vegas—I think it was sometime in the earlyish 90s, and Gans opened for Bill Cosby—I have had a deep, abiding respect for that underloved dark art, the Celebrity Impression.

Here’s film and voiceover actor Jim Meskimen with a monologue from Shakespeare’s Richard III. In the video, Meskimen mimics 25 celebrities.

Some of these are stock characters every impressionist seems to be able to do (Jimmy Stewart, Morgan Freeman, Walken, De Niro), but there are a couple unexpected doozies in the mix, too, like spot-on impersonations of Garrison Keillor and Paul Giamatti.

Reasons I love this video:

- It’s one take. He is able to switch voices on a dime.

- He does really good faces! A great De Niro Face will sell an iffy De Niro impression every time.

- He isn’t reciting the soliloquy with a script or prompter. Slick.

- In the 1980s, Jim Meskimen was a cartoonist for Thundercats.

Yeah, there’s talk of a movie based on my favorite superhero, Captain Planet, and yeah, of course I’m excited about it. Want to know a secret that almost got me crucified by my super nerd friends? Sometimes my mind mixes up Captain Planet and Captain America, so really I’ve been excited about this movie for over a year. So “take that,” I guess that’s what I’m trying to say here.

I know you’re eager to get the details, so here you go:

Producers Don Murphy and Susan Montford, who are coming offTransformers: Dark of the Moon and the upcoming Shawn Levy-directed Hugh Jackman-starrer Real Steel, have signed a deal with Cartoon Network to develop a live-action adventure theatrical feature based on Captain Planet. He’s the animated Ted Turner-created environment-saving hero who was first introduced in the cartoon series Captain Planet and the Planeteers. Murphy and Montford will develop the film under their Angry Films banner. “We are extremely excited about bringing the good captain back to life,” said Murphy, who added the intention is to make a series of films. “[The Captain's] adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations.” The news follows last month’s announcement of a similar Cartoon Network deal with producer Joel Silver for a movie based on the Ben 10 animated series.

While we’re talking about Captain Planet, can I also talk about one of the biggest debates of my life? See, when we used to play Captain Planet when we were kids, or, you know, during finals week in college, I was always Heart. Because yeah, I guess fire is cool, and of course I love water, but heart? You do so much with heart, and that kid had, in my opinion, the coolest powers by far.

If you were a Planeteer, which power would you want? And um, how about that movie, huh?

“Oh my God, I’m crippled by fear. I have awful stage fright. I don’t know what possesses me to do it. I think I’m going to die young from having so much stress all the time … After my first record I moved out of my mum’s and moved to Notting Hill on my own. My life fell apart. My phone got cut off, my credit card got cut off, the house was a mess. It was awful. I couldn’t function without my mum so I moved back in with her … I’d rather be defeated than one day come in and the rats would be eating me.”

- Adele discusses her big concerns.

No, Adele, please. It’s too soon. You’re too young. You’re too good. You can’t leave the world until you’ve given it all the magic music in your soul and until you’ve done all you’ve set out to do. Don’t talk like this, please. You’re a gift and you can’t take you back.