Well this is a rare treat, isn’t it? We’ve hardly seen photos of Mariah Carey since she gave birth to her babies back in April, let alone photos of her cutting loose and hanging out with friends. Like, really ever. Since she and Nick Cannon were married, you’ve really only seen pictures of the two of them going to dinner, or going on vacation, or going off to some secret love room to make tons and tons of babies.  (I’m kidding about that last part; there are no photos documenting that kind of stuff – that I’m aware of, anyway.)

But I guess good old Nick has kind of served his purpose, anyway – I mean after all, she’s got dem babies now, doesn’t she?

Looking good, girl!

I confess I don’t really watch Family Guy. In another place, another time, I would be happy to expound on why I avoid the FOX cartoon as I do herpes simplex.

But—also like herpes simplex—some contagions are difficult to avoid. Family Guy really is a cultural phenomenon, and since I pride myself on my cultural literacy, I do know a couple things about the show, thank you.

For instance, I know it stars a lovable schlub along with his nasal wife, their killer baby, and Birdo. I also know that all of the characters are inexplicably gifted with adult human voices.

About that. At the Comic-Con Family Guy panel, one logical fan asked a question about Stewie, and I, too, have always wrestled with this: WHO CAN HEAR STEWIE? Everyone? Nobody? Just the dog?

Perplexed Fan: “*Ahem*. In some episodes, only Brian can hear Stewie, but then in other episodes, other people can hear him, and I can’t [something something], too ’4:20′ to figure it out.”

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Getty Images via Huffington Post

It never occurred to me that Amy Winehouse and Russell Brand were friends. In retrospect it makes sense, though, because Russell Brand is pals with comedian Noel Fielding, who also wears his hair in an occasional bouffant. (Yes, that must’ve been their social connection—the hair.)

Today, Russell Brand took to his weblog with something titled “For Amy,” striking a careful balance between eulogy and cautionary tale. It’s flowery, maybe, but undoubtedly sincere; it’s a tribute to Winehouse’s spirit and talent, but it is also a narrative about Brand’s own sense of helplessness.

Brand writes that he’d thought of his acquaintance as “just some twit in a pink satin jacket”—until, that is, he finally saw her perform:

From her oddly dainty presence, that voice, a voice that seemed not to come from her but from somewhere beyond even Billie and Ella, from the font of all greatness. A voice that was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine. … Winehouse. Winehouse? Winehouse! That twerp, all eyeliner and lager dithering up Chalk Farm Road under a back-combed barnet, the lips that I’d only seen clenching a fishwife fag and dribbling curses now a portal for this holy sound. So now I knew. She wasn’t just some hapless wannabe … nor was she even a ten-a-penny-chanteuse enjoying her fifteen minutes. She was a f—-ing genius.

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Oh, Rhys Ifans! Of course I was thrilled when I heard you were cast as Dr. Curt Connors in the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man movie, because you are sure to plumb the nuances of that brilliant, tortured professor, who inadvertently contracts a degenerative lizard disease and transforms from a peaceful scholar into a villainous Super Lizard. (Don’t get me wrong! Dylan Baker would have also been great.)

But, my darling Rhys, what has fame done to you! You starred as an ill-socialized, feral man in one of my favorite movies, Human Nature, and now you really are behaving like a total ape.

Reports have emerged from San Diego that you were arrested at Comic-Con yesterday for shoving a security guard—a lady security guard—because she wouldn’t let you and your friends through on your way to the Amazing Spider-Man panel discussion. And you yelled at her! If all that weren’t ungentlemanly enough, a bystander later told press that you reeked of booze.

Don’t think that I don’t sympathize with you a little, Mr. Ifans. I love you, Mr. Ifans, and I know that it is easy to panic when you are late to a panel, and that it is frustrating when security guards glance down at your lanyard-badge and act like you aren’t a huge movie star. And it sure must have been humiliating when the guard reappeared after the Spider-Man panel and made a citizen’s arrest, right in front of everyone. Plus, it was the day after your birthday! Oh, no!

From the Wrap:

“He was aggressive and belligerent,” Lt. Andra Brown said of the Welsh actor. “He was… berating everyone from the security staff to the United States of America.”

“He was cited and released, which is a non-custodial misdemeanor arrest,” added Brown, who said that the San Diego City Attorney will now determine whether to pursue charges. Ifans could be required to pay a fine, or could contest the case before a judge.

“But, according to him, the U.S. sucks and he doesn’t want to come back,” Brown said.

Oh, Rhys! I take back everything I said! We aren’t really mad at you. Come back to the United States, Mr. Ifans! Come back!

It sure seems like Community‘s Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) has entertained brief romances with just about everybody on the show, including Britta (Gillian Jacobs), Annie (Alison Brie), and nearly every attractive guest-starring lady.

Troy (Donald Glover) had a thing with Annie, too, just for a hot Season One second—but we all know Troy only has eyes for his main broseph Abed (Danny Pudi). And then there’s Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown), who has had dalliances with her former Spanish teacher, Señor Chang (Ken Jeong) and, even more notably, with Theo Huxtable.

How can any casual viewer follow Community‘s sordid social graph? But more importantly, how will the writers add any more will-they-won’t-they frisson? Isn’t Community starting to feel a little bit like the fourth season of Friends? Hasn’t every romantic avenue already been exhausted? IS THERE NO ONE LEFT TO SLEEP WITH?

Children’s book illustrator Julieta Colás is here to help! She has thought long, hard, and deeply about this, and has considered new romantic configurations from every angle. What I’m coyly trying to say is, Colás drew us a bunch of fanfic, basically.

Here, then, are some unexplored (or underexplored) Community couplings (via BuzzFeed):

“The Married Couple.” What if Jeff and Britta finally paired up? Britta espouses a lot of fake feminist rhetoric, so you know she won’t be the one making breakfast. Also, look! She’s drinking tea! Nice touch, Julieta—you’re a true fangirl.

“The Cougar.” WHAT. Gillian Jacobs is literally eleven months older than Donald Glover. The fact that she plays an Oldy McOlderson on the show (she’s 28! She’s 28 in real life!) kind of skeeves me, especially when both sophomores are played by 27-year olds. In other news: Britta and Troy should totally hook up. Yes.

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Image courtesy People StyleWatch

The Daily Mail tells the over-long, redemptive tale of one woman—that is, Katy Perry—who accidentally tinted her locks a terrifying shade of alpenglow. But the heroic woman persevered, longing for the distant day she would emerge from her ginger cocoon, a flaxen-haired butterfly.

According to the Daily Mail, Katy’s brief stint as a redhead was kind of an accident. She was only trying to recover her natural hair color (blonde!). But why return to blonde at all? Perhaps Katy was tired of looking like Zooey. Perhaps Katy sought an emblem of her lost and/or misspent youth. We may never know the truth.

To ease the transition from dark tresses to blonde, Katy first lightened her hair to an awkward shade of red. She wore it that way for two weeks, and then she bleached her hair once again. Success! She wore her new blonde hair in loose curls to the MTV VMA announcements.

The songstress as a towheaded kid: