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6Charlize Theron Is Totally Boning Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron in early June

Wait, what? No. NO. Maybe. I mean, I can understand, but I am also pretty worried about that headline I just wrote. Can’t everyone just take some time off, do some soul-searching, maybe a little pilates?

Like, I ‘get’ why Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron would go for each other. They’re both funny. They both like privacy. They’re both kind of big and golden and bronze and athletic. They’re serial monogamists, too—Theron recently split from her boyfriend of ten years, Stuart Townsend.

From today’s issue of US Weekly, this month-old “breaking” news:

While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m.—and she left just minutes later.

Has Reynolds (who split from wife Scarlett Johansson last December) found a perfect match?

Er? Listen, Anonymous Eyewitness, “I saw Ryan at Charlize’s house mid-morning” is kind of the least salacious gossip ever. Ryan likely motored over to Charlize’s to replace a lightbulb, have some salmon on toast, and do a quick bong rip. I’m really not kidding about the lightbulb thing, either. When I was super-duper single, my apartment was a steady stream of men, all of whom were lifting my TV, installing my air conditioners, and being handy. (As opposed to being “handsy,” if you know what I mean.)

Late last week, Ryan and Scarlett went to dinner together, Page Six reports, during which Scarlett “kept caressing his face” and Ryan “would rub her back periodically.” Gee, I guess the truth is out: everyone is in love with everyone.

July 13, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Jenn

6 Responses to “Charlize Theron Is Totally Boning Ryan Reynolds”

  1. KOOOOL......GUYyyyyy says:

    SOME GUYS JUST GAT GAT THE LUCK “”JUS JUS GAT IT”"‘SUNSHIMNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!1 SUMMER”"WAKE ME UP::WHEN THE SUMMER IS OVERRINGGGGGGGGG!””

  2. Vendicus says:

    Charlize Theron is a keeper, i wouldnt hesitate to get with her.

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  4. Angie says:

    Wish it was me. I saw him first in “Two guys a girl and a Pizza place”

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