Photograph by Terry Richardson
First of all, thanks to the commenter who recommended the name “Justifer,” which is not only a much sleeker celebrity-couple portmanteau than whatever I suggested (“JustAnisTin”) but contoured enough that any couple named Justin and Jennifer could use it.
Moving right along: This morning the Daily Mail has a 60-point headline screaming “Jennifer Aniston waves goodbye to Hollywood for a year as she turns love into a full time job.” That is just like the Daily Mail, isn’t it? Every headline is a bad film trailer, giving away the whole movie. (Also, the Daily Mail changed the headline three times. I’m not kidding.)
The article itself is supposed to be about Jennifer Aniston and her rumored upcoming yearlong Sabbatical of Loooove, during which she will reportedly be “a full-time girlfriend to new beau, Justin Theroux.” It sounds so desperate!
But the real roast beef is hidden in the middle of this article sandwich:
[Us Weekly] is reporting that … after Horrible Bosses and the October release of Wanderlust, the only thing on her schedule is developing The Goree Girls, her production company’s project about singers in a women’s prison.
Reluctant to take time away from Theroux, 42-year-old Aniston is keen for the Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 screenwriter to collaborate on the script with her.
“She’s impressed by his ability to find humor in dry material,” the source told Us.
Aha! This… this symbiotic romance suddenly makes a lot more sense to me, actually. Is Theroux going to rewrite Aniston’s screenplay?
Aniston had pitch-perfect comic timing in Office Space and The Good Girl, and despite the success of “Friends,” she is sorely underutilized as a dramedy talent. (Yes, it killed me to type that.) Her myriad cinematic mishaps go a long way only in proving that what Aniston needs, ugh, is a better writer on her side. In the meantime, every writer needs a patron.
NO THIS DOES NOT MEAN I APPROVE OF THIS PAIRING. I’m just saying, it does explain Jennifer Aniston’s new tattoo, kind of.