The always adorable Julie Benz just got engaged to her boyfriend of four years, Rich Orosco, this past Sunday.  She called the proposal “absolutely perfect,” and her surprise engagement party sounds even better:

“The proposal was simple and beautiful – and then I was shocked by the pop-up surprise Mexican fiesta engagement party,” she says, adding, “What girl doesn’t want to be serenaded by a Mariachi band surrounded by close friends and family?”

Now, you might be thinking to yourself “who even is Julie Benz and why should I care about her happiness?”  And the answer is that you should care because you should care about your fellow human beings, goddamnit, and also because she’s been in almost all of my favorite shows. She played the adorable Rita on Dexter, she was badass Darla on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and she even had a guest spot on Supernatural. So it’s almost like, you know, how could you NOT care about her happiness?

Check out that cover, huh?  Yeah, I’m sure that didn’t make anybody feel weird at all.  It totally looks like an appropriate choice from all angles.  For sure.

Princess Diana would have turned 50 on July 1st of this year, so, of course, Newsweek thought it would be fun to talk about all the things she’d be into nowadays, and how she would feel about everything going on in the world.  You know, if she wasn’t dead.  Cool, right?

What she would look like: Still great-looking: that’s a given. Her mother, Frances Shand Kydd, with her cornflower-blue eyes and striding sexuality, was a handsome woman to the very end. Fashionwise, Diana would have gone the J.Crew and Galliano route à la Michelle Obama, always knowing how to mix the casual with the glam. There is no doubt she would have kept her chin taut with strategic Botox shots and her bare arms buff from the gym.

Her love life: Remarriage? At least two, I suspect, on both sides of the Atlantic. Always so professional herself, she would have soon grown exasperated with Dodi Al-Fayed’s hopeless unreliability. After the breakup I see her moving to her favorite city, New York, spending a few cocooned years safely married to a super-rich hedge-fund guy who could provide her with what she called “all the toys”: the plane, the private island, the security detail. Gliding sleekly into her 40s, her romantic taste would have moved to men of power over boys of play. She’d have tired of the hedge-fund guy and drifted into undercover trysts with someone more exciting—a high-mindedly horny late-night talk-show host, or a globe-trotting French finance wizard destined for the Élysée Palace. I suspect she would have retained a weakness for men in uniform, and a yen for dashing Muslim men.

Her stance on Kate Middleton: And Kate, the newly minted Duchess of Cambridge? How would Diana have handled her son’s steadfast affection for a woman other than herself? The rising public adoration of Kate would have afforded Diana some tricky moments. Pleased, yes. But, like Frances Shand Kydd—who, days before Diana’s wedding, suddenly burst out, “I have good long legs, like my daughter”—Diana would have had to adjust to a broadening of the limelight. Her edge over Kate, of course, was her own epic of princessly suffering, which would always make Diana’s story more interesting. (“Happily ever after” will never have the same allure to the press as “It all went horribly wrong.”) Diana, rejoicing in her flawless Spencer pedigree, would have positioned herself as a firm defender of the Middletons against the palace snobs and ostentatiously made Carole Middleton, Kate’s dynamic mother, her new BFF.

On one hand, I can see where this article would be a neat little tribute, but on the other, much larger hand, it creeps me out, and it creeps me out real bad. I hope William and Harry don’t read Newsweek on the regular, because can you imagine?

Where do you guys stand on this: is it cute or completely wrong?

A federal judge sentenced Maria Gabriela Hashemipour to house arrest and five years’ probation Monday. Hashemipour—a celebrity esthetician known better as “Gabriela Perez” to her wealthy clientele—pleaded guilty to credit card fraud back in January.

When she wasn’t giving celebrities facials at Chez Gabriela Studio, Hashemipour was screwing them, uh, metaphorically. She apparently scribbled down the credit card numbers of clients like Penelope Cruz, Anne Hathaway, and Cher, then charged her victims repeatedly for treatments they hadn’t actually received. Chez Gabriela especially had it out for Liv Tyler, bilking Liv’s AmEx between June and November 2009 to the tune of $214,000.

If you ask me, Hashemipour’s scam hardly ends there. Here’s her description of her own work (emphases mine):

With special skin care techniques and hand manipulations, Gabriela Perez developed a personal and particular style that put her on the leading edge of beauty care today, referred to now as a “skin artist.”

Wow! Definitely totally legitimate. Tell me, Ms. Hashemipour, what other treatments and services can I expect from Chez Gabriela?

Well, Jenn, I’m glad you asked. The “Basic” “Gabriela” “Facial” runs between $500 and $1,900, depending on the price I cite during your consultation (and don’t think I haven’t noticed that your pores are lousy). Similarly, the “Double” Facial begins at $800 and ends at $3,000. It’s like the Basic, except that it includes high-tech lasers.

The “Diamond Powder” Treatment begins at $3,000, and it utilizes actual diamond powder, which are particles ordinarily used to polish stone and cement. What could possibly make the crags of your face more radiant than actual diamonds! I’ll tell you: the “Platinum Celebrity” Treatment, beginning at $6,000, which uses still more diamond powder, platinum and gold, plus the high-tech lasers I mentioned before, and also stem cell serums!! Also, ask me about the Anti-Adiposity ultrasound treatment! I sell toner for $450!! My “Paradise Cream” is only $3,200!!! I’ll even add acid peels, collagen, and fat injections to your order!!!!!

Then there’s the “Rebirth and Redemption” Treatment, which uses European gold flakes, essence of frankincense and myrrh, and my patented syringe of Baby Jesus Tears!!!!!!!

I made up the last one.

My point: it’s only criminal to invent procedures and charge celebrities without their knowledge, apparently. Inventing bullshit and charging celebrities with their consent, however? Totally OK.

“Gay marriage will lead to angel rape.” [The Superficial]

A new Charlie Sheen sitcom? [Bitten and Bound]

The Black Eyed Peas: LEGALLY OVER. [Starpulse]

Heidi Klum talks about sex with Seal. [Bossip]

What celebrity was offered a job as a spokesperson for a cheating site? [Rumor Fix]

America Ferarra got married! [Socialite Life]

Lenny Kravitz goes meatpacking. [Caught on Set]

Nudes of Hugh Hefner’s new girlfriend, of course. [Yeeeah]

Is Jennifer Aniston … engaged? [The Blemish]

Really dressing for your body type. [The Frisky]

New Bjork single. [OMGBlog]

Linda Hogan slams marriage with the Hulk. [Socialite Life]

Emma Watson’s Harry Potter crush was WHO?! [Cele|bitchy]

Tia Mowry had that baby. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Did Lady Gaga cheat a charity, and that’s why she’s being sued? [Huff Po]

Florence Henderson got crabs. [Popbytes]

From Details:

Asked if he hooked up with Megan Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times in various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.

Gotta love Shia and his throw-caution-to-the-wind ways. You just know that boyfriend’s going to get an angry, shrill phone call from Megan, like, later today where she threatens him to retract his statement or suffer the wrath of David Silver‘s cheap 90′s 90210 hoop earrings.

Don’t get me wrong – Jennifer Love Hewitt, in my expert opinion, always looks good. Yeah, she’s put on a few pounds in the past few years, but she’s a gorgeous girl and I really like her shape.

Like, if I were a guy – or a girl who went that way – I’d totally be all about Jennifer Love Hewitt as primary stockholder in my spank bank. I’d rather her soft, luscious legs wrapped around me than the hard, possibly brittle stems of those of, say, Megan Fox or Calista Flockhart.

Can I get a “hell yes” on Jennifer Love Hewitt, just because?