You guys know Diane Warren – she’s written some of the best pop songs ever – and you definitely know Beyonce.  In a most magical collaboration, Diane wrote a song that Beyonce recorded for her new album, and if Diane has anything to say about it, it’s going to be one good ass song:

“I just wrote something a week and a half ago that Beyoncé recorded and I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. She sang it amazingly. I think it’s a career song and probably my favorite thing I’ve ever written … right now.”

Ok, listen.  Diane’s written songs like “I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing,” “Rhythm of the Night,” and “Un-Break My Heart.” If this new song she wrote for Beyonce is “the best thing” she’s ever written, then the world needs to watch the fuck out, because things are about to get real on the music scene.  When Beyonce’s new album comes out on June 28th, don’t be surprised if there’s an epidemic of bleeding ears and uncontrollable sobs, because there’s no doubt in my mind that this song will be off the charts beautiful.  Diane Warren wrote “If I Could Turn Back Time,” all right?  This is no joke.

As we all know, Kelsey and Camille Grammer are dunzo, but what’s going to happen to their two young children? If Kelsey has his way, it’s going to be one of the most untraditional (in a totally bad way) custody agreements I’ve ever heard of.

Camille said publicly that Kelsey seemed to be interested in splitting their two children up, with him taking their 6-year-old son to live in Chicago and leaving his 9-year-old daughter behind in California. While Kelsey initially denied that he ever said this (because who in their right mind would publicly admit to favoring one of his children and leaving the other behind to live with her mother) but now there’s legal proof that this is the arrangement Kelsey’s hoping for.

From TMZ:

The letter, dated April 29, 2011, says “Kelsey proposes … Kelsey shall have primary physical custody of Jude and Camille shall have primary physical custody of Mason.”  The letter says Kelsey wants to enroll 6-year-old Jude in a Chicago school.

So there you have it. Frasier is an asshole and I’d like to start a pool on when we think young Mason is going to wind up in the slammer for the first time. I’m guessing like, 3 weeks before his 18th birthday? Drug charges, perhaps?

As quickly as it seems it started, Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson‘s six-month-long romance is kaput.

Though a rep officially confirms to People that the two have split, both Scarlett and Sean’s reps have “declined to comment.” However, I’m betting it had something to do with Sean’s desperate need for children coupled with the fact that Scarlett is just so damned old and can’t get pregnant anymore. … Uh, wait …

Are you guys totally heartbroken, or did you see this coming?

The official Dragon Tattoo poster has arrived. [Lainey Gossip]

Super hot, super tall women. [Bossip]

Even more Blake Lively nudes? [Starpulse]

Is Leo totally pissed about those nudes? [Cele|bitchy]

Ryan Gosling pulls out. [Huffington Post]

Sharks LOVE AC/DC. [The Frisky]

Movie in development about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton? [The Frisky]

Hollywood’s most random and unexpected couples of all time. [Celebuzz]

The best Snooki‘s looked in years. [Yeeeah]

Michael Fassbender: not the father of January Jones’ baby. [IDLYITW]

Kate Winslet poses nude, too. [INFDaily]

Justin Timberlake freaks out over Ashley Olsen allegations. [Amy Grindhouse]

Chelsea Handler: identity crisis? [LA Times]

After a record FOUR DAYS IN REHAB, I’m proud to tell you that Amy Winehouse is clean and off the sauce. So much so, that girlfriend checked her scrawny little ass out of rehab last night and decided to go home, where outpatient therapy has been decided as her lifeline to the sober life. Amy’s rep told the Daily Mail:

“She has completed her assessment at the Priory Clinic in London and will continue as an outpatient. [Amy] is now looking forward to playing shows around Europe this summer and is raring to go. [She gives a] huge thanks to all her fans for the messages of support she has received over the last week and [she] can’t wait to see them.”

Amy claims that she’s going to start touring, and that because she wants to embark on a whirlwind publicity tornado, the best way to tackle that, generally, is sober. Unless, I guess, you’re Amy Winehouse, and think that your best work is something that sounds quite like this.

Either way, keep on keeping on, girl, and start making some more beautiful music!

So hey! This week must be the week for “unexpected” nude photo leaks, ’cause MMA fighter Tito Ortiz released one (OK, it was hacked) of him standing somewhere that looks like a spa, or a sauna room, with his LONG FLACCID PENIS hanging out. The best part of the pic? Boyfriend looks STOKED over it. The shit-eating grin just says it all. Says what, you ask? It positively screams, “Which way did he go, George, which way did he go?” “Man, if I could knock a bitch out with this gigantic crank during one of matches, they’d be out cold FER DAYZ.”

And also, what’s with the influx of soggy peen photos? I mean, photos of peen are good in any case, but wouldn’t they be much more impressive and exciting if the soldiers were actually on active duty?

Jump in for the NSFW photo of Tito Ortiz’s mang:

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