10:56 PM ET: Taylor Lautner looks all surprised that this movie won. Seriously. What fucking planet does he live on? When EVER there is a Twilight movie in production or development, said Twilight movie WILL ALWAYS WIN. END OF STORY. And also, end of the show. Stay tuned – we’ll be running a shit-ton of photos from tonight’s show if you happened to miss it.

10:54 PM ET: Um, Gary Busey? Presenting the award for Best Movie? Nominees: Inception, Twilight: Eclipse, Black Swan, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, The Social Network. I’m saying Twilight, but I’m HOPING Harry Potter. And the award goes to: Twilight. Of course.

10:54 PM ET: Teen Wolf kid. So hot.

10:51 PM ET: I wonder how many of these damn Twilight movies are gonna be out before I actually see the first one.

10:50 PM ET: Wow.

10:48 PM ET: Oh, good, more time for Kristen Stewart to be MAD AWKWARD.

10:44 PM ET: Oh, look, the cast of Horrible Bosses, featuring Jason Sudeikis. Jason Bateman is SO HOT. Best Comedic Performance: Zach Galifianakis, Emma Stone, Ashton Kutcher, Adam Sandler, Russell Brand. The award goes to: Emma Stone. It’s about time this bitch won something, we’ve been seeing her face all damned night.

10:37 PM ET: Uh, who is this performing? Lupe Fiasco? Is that correct? I’m sorry, I’m just not hip. I have NO FUCKING IDEA who this is.

(more…)

If we’re to believe Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards, she has. That’s the award Jennifer won last night:  Decade of Hotness. And I’m not saying that she’s not hot, I’m just saying that I don’t know if she’s THAT hot.

As you may have realized, I always turn to you guys in times of uncertainty.  And this, dear friends, is one of those times.  I’m going to show you a slew of Jennifer Aniston pictures from this past decade, and you guys can let me know if she deserves the award and, if not, who does (I’m just kidding with this last link, by the way. Wouldn’t that be so catty of me?).

Last week we brought you Breaking Dawn‘s first official poster, and just a few days ago you got to see the wedding teaser. But today’s a brand new day, and even though you were originally going to have to wait until tonight’s MTV Movie Awards to see this trailer, some kind, precious soul with connections decided that you shouldn’t have to wait that long. Congratulations, Twihards.  Your time is nigh.

Since you guys seemed so interested in Sarah Palin‘s fantastical retelling of the tale of Paul Revere, I thought you might be interested in this clip from her appearance on Fox News Sunday.  You can talk about American history to your heart’s content in the comments, but for now, I’m just going to rejoice in the fact that this lady is not in charge of my government.

It’s been a little over a month since the royal wedding craze, so I figure you guys would be cool to receive an update on what Prince William and Kate Middleton were up to these days. It’ll be a pretty quick update:  they’ve been wearing fancy hats!

This is a photo of the lovely couple at a derby yesterday. Personally, I think Will is looking suitably fly in his little top hat, but I’m a little disappointed with Kate. Now that she’s a member of the royal family, she really needs to step up her hat game, right?

This happened a few days ago, but this little clip is just now starting to make the rounds, and I couldn’t keep it from you. How could I? Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg going after poor little defenseless Paris Hilton is too good to pass up.

I love how Paris doesn’t seem like a real person. From her words to her appearance, she just seems like a really advanced robot. Remember that time that she didn’t understand the true meaning of Christmas or that time that she adopted 20 bunnies or those times that she didn’t understand how the law works? It’s all just been problems with her programming.  So really, just like Paris has always told us, it’s not her fault.