Hey, so the Glamour Women of the Year awards happened yesterday, and we’ve got all (OK, probably most) of the photos.

There were a lot of gorgeous women there, including Kristen Stewart, Kristen Wiig, Kim Kardashian, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Fearne Cotton, amongst many others. Not looking so good last night: Pixie Geldof. And Jamie Campbell Bower.

And as for this Jamie Campbell Bower fellow, WHO INVITED THE JUNKIE? I didn’t even know who this guy was at first. He initially reminded me of a dead, strung-out River Phoenix. … Oh, wait.

Here’s your complete list of winners:

Presenter of the Year – Davina McCall
Designer of the Year – Sarah Burton
Filmmaker of the Year – Jane Goldman
Theatre Actress of the Year – Naomie Harris
TV Personality of the Year – Dannii Minogue
Pandora Breakthrough of the Year – Ellie Goulding
Writer of the Year – Dawn French
Sportswoman of the Year – Jessica Ennis
Band of the Year – The Saturdays
Accessory Designer of the Year – Victoria Beckham
Radio Personality of the Year – Fearne Cotton
TV Actress of the Year – Lenora Crichlow
Comedy Actress of the Year – Miranda Hart
Entrepreneur of the Year – Kim Kardashian
UK Solo Artist of the Year – Adele Adkins
Film Actress of the Year – Gemma Arterton
Woman of Tomorrow – Jessie J
Editor’s Special Award – Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Man of the Year – Garrett Hedlund
Outstanding Contribution – Stevie Nicks

And it’s not even really that good (alright, you caught me: it’s actually fucking awful), despite the fact it tried to slam two of today’s most obnoxious celebrities. I know Em‘s trying to continue making a career out of poking fun at his classmates, but hey. You might consider it worth listening to at least once. I, myself, got about forty-five seconds into it before I rolled my eyes and x’ed out of YouTube.

Anyway, the song’s not that great, and even though I don’t care for her, I thought it was shitty and SOOO 2009 to call Lady Gaga a “male lady,” but hey. This is what Eminem thinks he does best, isn’t it? Am I looking to far into this?

Remember Cage‘s son, Weston? The one who just got married last month or something? Well, he’s on his first vacation sans-wife already: he’s been institutionalized for a psychological breakdown. In layman’s terms, boyfriend went crazy.

Word on the street says that Weston was out to lunch with his trainer, and when his trainer suggested some tasty morsel off the menu, Weston flipped the fuck out and couldn’t be calmed until police arrived with their good old-fashion sedation tools. Weston Cage v. The Taser? THE TASER WINS. Weston’s since been hospitalized for his episode.

Reps for Nicolas and family have not commented publicly, but if they did, I’d expect the incident to be blamed on the drunkenness of daddy. Poor Weston. Imagine having to grow up with a fruitbat like Nic. It’s really no wonder he snapped under all that strain.

Oh hey look. It’s Taylor Swift trying to have a personality or something. No, really, it’s the two of them doing some kind of skit for the upcoming CMT Music Awards. Cute, isn’t it?

And how do we feel about Taylor Swift, anyway? Do we love her? Dislike her? Pity her?

Anyway. I know, like, you country types stick together for the most part, Taylor, but do you have any friends your own age, girl? Or a personality of your own, for that matter?

Update: The original video has been pulled, but if you go below the jump, you can see Khloe’s NIP hanging out in its full glory via a friendly YouTube video.

Any by “epic proportions,” I mean “exactly proportionate to her Green Giantess stature, ’cause that nipple is LARGE.”

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not ragging on Khloe (OK, I am, a little bit, but that’s only because I feel weird about caving in to Twilight last night and I need to reinforce my heartless bitch status because a sparkly Edward Cullen melted my cold dead heart JUST A LITTLE last night), and her nipple is actually perfectly lovely, but gotdamn. All I can really say about that is that nipple is a nipple worthy of Khloe Kardashian, dudes.

Something good about Khloe Kardashian? She’s actually very well-spoken.

Jump in for the working nip:

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Or, more specifically, listen to Ice-T and Coco school you on sexy marriage. These guys have been together since 2005, and, as you can see in the picture above, they just renewed their wedding vows, so I think you can trust what they have to say.

Here’s a little segment from their recent interview with Vibe:

But really now, how can I have a marriage that comes with a sex circus of a love life?
Ice T: Marry somebody that turns you the fuck on.

Coco: Don’t think that you’re going to turn them into some sexual demon when you get married. They have to already be the sexual demon beforehand.

Ice T: But wait for your ultimate sexual partner, try that one. That’s a good start. If you start with that and keep that alive, hopefully the person isn’t an idiot and shit doesn’t go wrong. One of the things that help messes up a sex life is just basic stress in the relationship though. If you have a stressful relationship there‘s not going to be sex.

Duly noted. People think you have to try all these crazy things after some years in marriage just to keep it exciting or is it all mental games?

Ice T: You do. That’s part of the fun… trying things out.

Coco: Trying things out. And you don’t have to do it a second time. You just try it once to see if you two connect on that same level. And if it does, your sex life just becomes spicier.

Ice T: It takes you to another level. Trying new things. There’s nothing wrong with it.

I just love these guys.  I’m not married or anything, but I hope those of you who are can learn something from these wise souls. There’s no reason why you can’t have a sex circus of a love life, ok?!