“I’m not afraid to talk about sex. Sex is not wrong. Sex is real life. I don’t see sex to be a bad thing. Sex is an inspiration for everyone and I don’t think there is one song that’s ever been written that sex wasn’t part of it. So that’s what makes the world go round. I don’t know if threesomes make the world go round, but I suppose, they’re fun.”

- Lady Gaga, giving one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard.

Seriously, Lady Gaga is finally good for something, because I have a new catchphrase: “sex is real life.”  I’m going to use it everywhere, so get used to it. When I go to my niece’s birthday party in a few weeks, I’m going to clasp a hand on her shoulder, congratulate her on turning 13, and then let her know: “sex is real life.” When I bring my boyfriend to my grandmother’s house for the first time for Sunday dinner next week, I’m going to interrupt grace by throwing out a well-placed “sex is real life,” or perhaps a more fitting “sex is real life, amen.”

So what did you guys pull from Lady Gaga’s bit of wisdom?

I mean it when I say that there’s NO WAY that this could be Khloe Kardashian. [The Superficial]

Bret Lockett claims that he and Kim Kardashian had phone sex. [Bossip]

Jennifer Lopez wants you to get a good, hard look at her boobs. [Starpulse]

Reese Witherspoon and her new husband go to church. [Celebuzz]

30 HOT Ryan Kwanten photos. [Socialite Life]

You were thisclose to seeing Octomom’s bikini car wash. [TMZ]

Woman gets naked on a park bench, says it was to “cool off.” [The Frisky]

This might actually be the cutest celebrity newborn OF ALL TIME. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Never-before-seen images of Beatlemania. [Huff Po]

[PHOTOS] If you’ve got a couple mil lying around, you could be the proud owner of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s swanky-ass mansion. [Bitten and Bound]

Are you simultaneously appalled and amused by Lady Gaga? Is it difficult to reconcile your conflicting feelings? You aren’t alone.

Each week, for their “Kids React!” video series, the Fine Brothers™ tape children’s reactions to viral videos on the Internet. And every week, of course, I watch, because nothing is more adorable than precocity.

In the series’ most recent installment, a ragtag gaggle of lovable scamps watches Lady Gaga’s hilarious Letterman interview, which aired late last month.

Spoiler! When asked to estimate her age, the kids guess Lady Gaga is in her 40s or 50s. (She’s 25.)

Congratulations, Class of 2011! Woohoo! Grab those Bachelor’s degrees! Snag those internships! Yeah!

On Sunday, Conan O’Brien delivered the commencement address to the outgoing graduates of prestigious Dartmouth College. He introduced himself thusly:

Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly-admired president of the United States and decorated war hero [George H. W. Bush], while I, a cable television talk show host, has [sic] been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.

Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: good morning, and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know — a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma, you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I’m talking about drop-out losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.

Conan goes on to discuss the tragedy of not-graduating-a-celebrity (“Deal with it”) but, ultimately, wishes the graduates well. Even so, he warns them of the inevitability of future failure, with the promise of reinvention. (He also manages to slip in the word “d-bag.”)

Yep, Conan gets it. His commencement speech, in its entirety, is after the jump.

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So as you guys all know, we did a big cattle call over the last few weeks, looking for the best and brightest of entertainment writers, and honestly? I THINK I FOUND THEM ALL. Seriously. I hit a veritable treasure trove of talent with all of the applicants that sent in their stuff. There was so much stuff to go through and the decision-making process was SO HARD.

Thanks to all of you who applied, and all of those who will be at the top of my list for the next time we hire.

Anyway, here’s our new girl, Jenn, in her own words:

Jenn is a pop culture junkie and smut-hound. When she isn’t lampooning celebrities, she blogs about video games. She also reads comic books and collects action figures, giving her all the charm and allure of a preadolescent boy.

Jenn’s cool as hell and I think you guys are really going to dig her. Show her some love like only you guys know how, and above all, be nice, OK? ;)

Hey Kim Kardashian. Looking good. I mean, you know, as always. You could probably have a runny shit fight and then roll in cornmeal and you’d still look awesome. And working out, too! Man. Lots to look forward to these days, big doings. A huge bitchin’ honker of an engagement ring, financial security, a massive wedding to plan, babies to pop out … there’s got to be a touch of grey to all that silver lining BS, right? Like, I bet you’ve had moments where you’ve been all upset that someone threw that black camisole you’re wearing in the dryer, because we ALL KNOW how fucked up those shitty faux-satin straps can get when they’re tumble-dried. Chin up!