See, house arrest is not only tons of fun, it’s also super lucrative!

Our girl Lindsay has, once again, managed to make lemons out of lemonade. As you can see in this dazzling advertisement above, Lindsay is pumping up Beezid.com, a pretty sketchy looking penny auction site, and you know what she got in return?  Yeah, we don’t either.  All we know is that the company offered Lindsay $25,000, she said no, and then they “came to terms for an undisclosed amount.”  Oh, and Lindsay got a $10,000 credit for the site, so I guess she’s going to own all of the things soon (seriously, right now you can get a laptop for ten cents, can someone explain this shadiness to me?).

You know, I think that any time now we can stop employing Lindsay Lohan, especially when we’re trying to teach her a lesson. That’s why she never learns, get it?

Paris Hilton got dumped again. [The Superficial]

Ryan Dunn‘s passenger revealed. [Bitten and Bound]

The cast of Glee is going to be entirely different next season. [Starpulse]

Lupe Fiasco is officially an idiot. [Bossip]

Tracy Morgan tries to salvage his reputation with the gay community. [Rumor Fix]

Now EVERYONE wants to talk about Megan Fox’s Transformers departure. [Socialite Life]

Last scenes of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. [Caught on Set]

Ryan Dunn was apparently drunk when he wrecked his car, as if that’s supposed to be some sort of surprise. [Yeeeah]

Steven Spielberg ruined Megan Fox. [The Blemish]

Because you need to know who Charlie Siem is. [OMGBlog]

Last night’s Bachelorette recap. [The Frisky]

Angelina Jolie gets wasted. [Cele|bitchy]

What does Evangeline Lilly have to do with The Hobbit? [LA Times]

Pop divas at their worst. [OMGBlog]

Geri Halliwell, or the Spice Girl Whose Boobs You Wanted to See the Most, was photographed earlier this week tanning her tatas on a pretty nice boat. The only drawback with tanning your tatas out is that someone sure to see, even if it’s just your creepy, digital-camera-toting extortionist neighbor. Believe me, I KNOW HOW THIS ENDS.

Jump in for the nip.

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Jenn gave you the teaser the other day (naughty little tart), so here’s the full, official video for Weird Al’s latest Gaga-knockoff-single, ‘Perform This Way.’

Al is definitely as bizarre as he was fifteen years ago when I was one of his biggest fans (sorry, I wasn’t cool and into, like, Nirvana and Silverchair or whatever) and I actually like this song. Better than I like ‘Born This Way,’ but that’s not saying a whole lot, considering how I feel about Stefani Germanotta at large.

Are you guys loving Al’s new shit?

The dude’s Vincent Piazza, who’s an actor who appeared on The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire. He’s Ashlee Simpson‘s new man. These are the first photos of the new couple since Ashlee was photographed being all hand-holdy with her not-yet-ex Pete Wentz. Like, recently.

Also? Cheating on your husband and generally being a bitch apparently makes your old nose grow back.

Poor 27 Dresses’ Judy Greer! Always a bridesmaid and never a—wait, what? Oh. Scratch that.

The offbeat Judy Greer, forever relegated to playing the quirky “best friend” (13 Going on 30, Love and Other Drugs, The Wedding Planner) and the “sexy weirdo” (Kitty Sanchez in “Arrested Development,” Fern in Jawbreaker), will finally play the lead in her own production! That is to say, she’s newly engaged to her boyfriend of one year, Dean Johnsen.

Well, that’s it, boys: Judy Greer is officially off the market. “SAY GOODBYE TO THESE!”