It’s Katy Perry! And she’s on the cover of Rolling Stone, showcasing her boobs and talking about her boobs, and what life really means. AKA? This is one interesting interview, friends.

On discovering there’s life outside of Russell Brand’s jaunty little penis:

“It just feels like the thing running our country is a bank, money. I know it sounds like an intense viewpoint, but I’m only slowly but surely getting the wool taken off my eyes. When I was a kid, I asked questions about my faith. Now I’m asking questions about the world.”

It’s an “intense viewpoint”? It’s not, you know, the point of view that most people both locally and internationally have? Interesting. Katy Perry outwits me every damned time.

On nationalizing health care:

“I think we are largely in desperate need of revolutionary change in the way our mindset is. Our priority is fame, and people’s wellness is way low. I saw this knowing full well that I’m a part of the problem. I’m playing the game, though I am trying to reroute. Anyway, not to get all politically divulging and introspective, but the fact that America doesn’t have free health care drives me fucking absolutely crazy, and is so wrong.”

How her faith made her boobs so big:

“I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11. And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times, until I was like, ‘Please, stop, God. I can’t see my feet anymore. Please stop!”

Apparently God ignored her pleas on that one.

And he’s not going to be pleased with her new alien obsession, either:

“Oh my God. When it [History Channel specials] talks about the sky people , how everyone comes from the sky and how the Pyramids were used for star observations, it’s too much for me. It all seems to connect the dots. It’s blowing my mind.”

Gah, Katy Perry, what’s next, Scientology?

The first photo of the Hart family has emerged! Pink and her husband, Carey Hart, gave birth to their first child a few weeks ago, Willow Sage Hart. Not only is that possibly the cutest name ever, but these three are absolutely adorable together. It’s kind of like when Nicole Richie and Joel Madden had their first kid, just better.

And incidentally, Pink is looking AMAZING these days. Seriously, this might be the best I’ve ever seen her look. Way to be a normal girl, girl!

You know what I think is nuts? People mocking Kirstie Alley for going out without makeup. Seriously. I know we snark out a lot here on Evil Beet, but this is straight talk right now – Kirstie Alley is sixty years old. And from what my non-expert eye can discern, she’s never had a spot of plastic surgery. And for THAT, I commend her. She looks like a normal, sixty-year-old woman, and I’m going to one-up what I just said – she looks even BETTER than a lot of sixty-year-old women I know, and not in that scary, plastic way that a lot of her peers seem to have mastered.

Bottom line? Lay the fuck off of Kirstie Alley for going out in public without makeup. I give her mad props for staying true to who she is (overweight or not), and I think it says a whole lot about a person who can rock the natural look and not give a flying shit what anyone has to say. Chances are, those who’re really bellyaching about this thing are going to look like Heidi Montag in twenty years anyway, and let’s be realistic: there’s nothing attractive about that.

Last night, in the most riveting piece of television in the history of colonoscopies, Jon Stewart invited Cameron Diaz to extricate his stitches one at a time. And then she totally did. It is too disgusting to miss.

You may remember how, earlier this month, Jon Stewart cut his wrist on The Daily Show—he was making margaritas during a fake press conference when a glass shattered—and as he stood there bleeding, he remarked that he might actually need stitches. No kidding, man.

Anyway. Cameron Diaz was on the program to promote her new movie Bad Teacher which, unless Ain’t It Cool News finds a way to convince me otherwise, I will probably never watch.

You know what I would watch, though? I’d watch a documentary reality program where Cameron Diaz makes house-calls in the countryside, lancing boils and yanking rotten teeth. She puts on her reading glasses, and the film crew gets really quiet as Cameron sterilizes the pointy tweezers, and then she leers maniacally at her patient and shrieks “Ready when you are!” and it’s just terrifying. God, this is actually a great idea for a TV show; it sounds just like something you’d find on BBC America.

A bitchfight is brewing between Meghan McCain and Bristol Palin. LOL [The Superficial]

Someone’s actually considering Penn Badgely for a real role? [Lainey Gossip]

Celebrities who love to show their boobs. [Bossip]

True Blood season 4 premiere photos – like, all of ‘em. [Starpulse]

Charlie Sheen and an ex reconciling? [ICYDK]

Ryan Dunn’s death ruled “violent.” [The Blemish]

James Franco: a gay poet? [LA Times]

What’s this “huge” honor that’s supposedly being bestowed upon Jennifer Aniston? [Huff Po]

Happy Birthday, Prince William! [Socialite Life]

Liv Tyler gets extremely leggy. [INFDaily]

Hallmark made a card for black single mothers on Father’s Day – offensive, stereotypical, what? [The Frisky]

Megan Fox doing a “Borat” movie? [Cele|bitchy]

Brett Ratner wants your nudie pics. [Pajiba]

And in a completely unsurprising move, they performed it on the latest Voice episode. Which is kind of what I want to talk about. Is anyone actually watching this show? Seriously, I think I know one person who’s addicted to it. And I don’t even really “know” them, I just happened to hear them talking about how much they loooove it one day in passing. I mean, I don’t even see Facebook discussions about this show. I think that’s the true telling of something’s popularity these days, doesn’t it?

I know that the concept of Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera teaming up would have been super hot in 2002 or so, but time goes by and things change and apparently, so do careers.

Do you guys (if any of you are, you know, watching it) think it’s going to be a one-and-done type thing, maybe kind of like the song that Adam and Christina performed, or do you think it’s here to stay?