After a good few days of letting my Harry Potter dreams run wild, it looks like we might be close to figuring out what Pottermore is all about. And even though it’s not a completely new series of books, it still sounds pretty wonderful. Here’s the “leaked marketing memo” from Gawker:
[Pottermore is] a sophisticated online game that contains clues to prizes that are hidden in the real world. These are an unstated number of magic wands secreted in Britain and America, and possibly other countries.
So ok, hold the fucking phone. We’re about to get into Willy Wonka, Harry Potter style? Um, where do I sign up? This sounds like pretty much the greatest thing that’s ever happened in my lifetime, and let me tell you, if this is really what Pottermore is all about, maybe you can see me sometime this summer when I wander around the country, stopping in your local McDonald’s for some wifi while I try to figure out where my damn wand is.
And I don’t just mean that Ryan was tipsy and driving a little too fast, I mean that Ryan’s blood alcohol content was 0.196, which is more than twice Pennsylvania’s legal limit of 0.08, and he was going between 130 and 140 miles per hour in a 55 zone. So yeah, that’s the most reckless thing I’ve ever heard.
I still stand by what I said on Monday – I think Ryan was a great, funny dude who made some horrible, deplorable, and obviously dangerous mistakes. I’ve been out of my mind wasted before, and in between leaning over the balcony, trying not to vomit, and passing out, I’ve refused to get in a car with someone who’s had a few beers. The whole drunk driving thing is just not something that I’ve ever been ok with. Some people are more like Ryan though, who think that everything will be ok and they can handle it, and of course that’s dumb and awful and millions of bad things, but that still doesn’t make him a completely soulless thing and it still doesn’t make it appropriate for people to make jokes a few hours after his death. If you don’t believe me, check out Bam Margera’s interview about his best friend of over 15 years.
Of course I don’t condone drinking and driving, none of us do, but I still think it’s insanely insensitive to say that someone deserved to die on any occasion. Let’s acknowledge stupidity and recklessness and how dangerous these things can be while still maintaining some sense of empathy, ok? Can we please just do that?
I don’t know if anyone in the world still has the need to cut loose, footloose, but if you do, I’d love to hear about it. Especially after seeing this horrendous trailer. Personally, my only experience with Footloose was a misguided dance routine everyone in the eighth grade had to do at my middle school and countless Kevin Bacon jokes from one of my bros, but I’m thinking about boycotting this movie. Just because Kevin Bacon deserves better.
Are you planning on checking out this here film? Even better, can you guess which timeless treasure Hollywood will destroy next?
One of my favorite things is when celebrities wear things that I could make myself. Not to be cocky or anything, I’m definitely not a master seamstress, but whatever little Anna Paquin is trying to rock here? Yeah, I could probably whip that up.
I think it’s not even that I could make it, it’s that I would love to make it. But not in a serious way, in a “wouldn’t it be hilarious if I made a black dress, but made the torso part sheer and decorated it with some pipe cleaners?” way. Isn’t that what it looks like the purple business is though, pipe cleaners? It’s like Anna’s designer raided the craft closet from my old bible school and tried to use the materials to make an appropriate dress. And I don’t think that’s ok.
You can check out some additional angles in the gallery below – but for real, doesn’t this dress look ridiculously cheap and tacky and craftastic? Do you think that if you got close enough you could see a bit of dried hot glue sticking out under the pipe cleaner?
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