Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bristol Palin’s Autobiography: Levi Johnston Is a “Gnat”

Bristol Palin, April 29, 2011

I absolutely cannot abide 20-year olds who write memoirs because, unless your parents died and you are raising your little brother all by yourself or you made it all up, how am I to care?

But Bristol Palin has accounted for my ageist ire by titling her new autobiography Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far. Ah! Bristol’s journey so far! I like how the title already leaves the door open to a sequel.

In her new book, Bristol treats us to certain revelations about her private life. For instance: she drunkenly lost her virginity to Levi Johnston during a camping trip. Yup.

Bristol couldn’t even remember the sexual encounter—she’d managed to black out on wine coolers—so I guess it’s a good thing she overheard Levi bragging to their friends later, or else she might have thought Tripp was immaculately conceived. (Levi Johnston’s reaction to news of their pregnancy: “Better be a fucking boy.” Nice.)

I like Bristol Palin (for now), and I like Dancing With The Stars, and I really, really like Kyle Massey and I hope it’s true they’re dating. And because I like Bristol so much right now, I am only too happy to have her confirm that Levi Johnston is a bloodsucking bug.

Also, I appreciate Bristol’s newfound sense of rebellion. She should keep trying to piss people off; it looks really good on her.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • What dope are you smokin’? This is a total sell-out, and I can’t stand her even more than I couldn’t stand her before. Way to avoid any responsibility of any kind, Bristol. I anxiously await the day you get a clue.

  • He may be a gnat, but if he hadn’t managed to get her pregnant, she’d still be some obscure progeny of an on the fringe political player. She’s managed to parlay getting knocked up into quite a career. If she had just finished high school and went on to go to college like everyone else, no one would have given a shit.

  • Come on Jenn, she is a massive twat whose only claim to fame was embarrassing her mum through her actions. She should fade into obscurity again.

    • I agree! But if she could just embarrass her mom through 2012…! It’s the ONLY WAY TO BE SURE