I’m going to let you guys in on a secret. Ready? Even though I am way in love with my boyfriend, Zach Galifianakis, I also find Bradley Cooper really, really attractive. Is that horrible of me? The attraction part, not the out of touch with reality part.
Anyway, I don’t speak a lick of French, so I have no clue what Bradley is saying. You might complain that this isn’t that much of a story, and to that, I say that you can suck it, for it is my birthday, Bradley Cooper is enchanting, and I live my life on my own terms.