So you know, LL Cool J, right? Okay, according to DiaryOfaHollywoodStreetKing.com, NYC transvestite hooker, Toni Newman, sold a story to the National Enquirer detailing his $500 sexual encounter with the rapper. LL picked up Toni on a street corner in NY’s 14th street red light district, and paid cash for the sexual services. To be crystal clear, Toni dresses like a woman, but definitely has a penis.
Before you think that this is just another made-up tabloid story, know that before the Enquirer bought the rights, they spent over three hours interviewing Toni and then paid for a polygraph test, which s/he passed with flying colors.
BUT! (We know how much Mr. Cool J loves a big ole butt,) We’re never going to get to read the story. Why? Because LL and his team had that ish shut down. He and his lawyers came to some sort of agreement where the Enquirer is no longer publishing it. Keep your eyes peeled for some juicy-yet-lesser story about LL’s past real soon. He must have had to agree to spill something in order to get them to keep quiet on a story this good.
Well, I guess it’s nice that MTV decided to use their Teen Mom stars run a formal PSA about teen pregnancy (as opposed to the show, which is just one long, kind of unclear PSA about why you might not want to have a baby at 14), but I’ve learned nothing from it. No, that’s not true. I’ve learned that I’m happy I was raised to speak proper English and that I wasn’t allowed to dress like an overly made-up slore.
The intro to the PSA features one of the moms saying, “The night that I got pregnant, I wish that me and my boyfriend were cuddling and watching a movie,” and a moment later shows that Amber Portwood character saying something like, “I wish we had just relaxed.”
First of all, it’s “my boyfriend and I,” and secondly, the last thing you need to do, Amber, is relax. Why not hit the gym, read a book or wash all that graffiti off of your car?
The only thing I like about this PSA is that finally, like, 12 seconds into the whole thing (it’s only 15 seconds long) someone brings up the idea of using protection. The whole thing was feeling like a hypocritical ad for abstinence until one of these geniuses had the sense to bring up the idea of not raw dogging.
My buddy Jordan Rubin was asked by Comedy Central to host a new tech-themed online talk show called (wait for it) THE DOWNLOAD. Get it? Because we’re talking about tech and the Internet but it’s also a play on the expression “the downlow.” As in “keep it on the downlow,” not like, “hey, my wife doesn’t know I have sex with men because I’m on the downlow.” I’m just digging a hole for myself here, moving on…
Jordan asked me to be his co-host (you may remember that we used to do a podcast together) and I was mad honored, especially because our first guest was the incredibly awesome Jerry O’Connell. You may recognize his name from like, every movie ever and all those headlines a few years back when he married a supermodel, no bigs. One of my favorite parts of our interview was when we were able to get him to admit that he’s totally been on Twitter for about a year now and that he’s totally secretly into it. You can find out his handle if you watch the video.
Another pretty cool thing? Our theme song was made by none other than Money Mark from the Beastie Boys. He got all of the sounds that make up the theme by using materials he found in a junkyard like old car horns and random machines that I don’t even know the names of. Pretty rad.
OK, there are two lies in that headline. 1) Garfboy doesn’t do all of his own stunts, just like, a lot of them, and 2) We’re actually married, I’ve just failed to inform him. Hope this shows up in his publicist’s GoogleAlerts. Just kidding, hope it doesn’t. Don’t need to die of embarrassment today, thanks.
ANYWAY! I’ve put together yet another gallery of behind-the-scenesSpiderman shoot pictures for y’all to check out because who can resist a midday A. Garfield break and it’s pretty exciting that a new Spiderman movie is coming out. Yeah, it’s no Batman, but the first three Spiderman movies were really good and I’ll watch just about anything that involves that adorable and charming Emma Stone.
If you need anything, I’ll be over here being your creepy neighborhood gossip blogger with ill-advised crushes. Thanks!
I was going to be super-offensive and say ‘George Clooney’s girlfriend goes nekkid for PETA,’ but after two Lady Gaga posts, you guys are probably on edge as it is. I’ll try not to provoke you too much for the rest of the day.
Anyhoo, Elisabetta Canalis and her dumb tribal armband (seriously. I mean SERIOUSLY) posed as naked as a jaybird for PETA’s latest celebrity-endorsement campaign, and not only did she do it willingly, she did it HAPPILY. According to Elisabetta:
“Doing PETA’s campaign has always been my dream. This is the best reason why I get naked in my life.”
… The ‘best reason’ why she gets naked in her life, huh? I’d be thinking having George Clooney go down on me would be the best reason why I’d get naked in my life but hey. Some people have priorities, I guess.
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