So, Johnny Depp, versatile Jack of all trades (did you see what I did there? ‘Jack’? Like as in ‘Jack Sparrow’? Yeah. I thought maybe you’d like that) is considering taking on a role of a legendary rock band musician – if a movie is ever made, that is.
Depp did a recent interview with Extra! where he professed his long-time admiration for this musician/friend, and claims that he’d totally play him if there was ever a biopic tailor-made for this larger-than-life character.
Take your guesses: who’s Johnny Depp flattery-fucking?
I mean, what could they have possibly disagreed on, who last moved the hairspray? What charity to donate their end-of-year write-offs to? Or did Maria finally just decide that she was sick and tired of not being able to understand a single word that came out of Ah-nold’s mouth?
Seriously, though, all joking aside – it’s sad. These guys have been married for twenty-five years – that’s almost as long as I’ve been ALIVE. They’ve been together for, like, thirty years in total. Reps for the two state:
“This has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us. After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion and prayer, we came to this decision together. At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship. We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and the center of both of our lives. We consider this a private matter and neither we nor any of our friends or family will have further comment. We ask for compassion and respect from the media and the public.”
Either way, I’m sorry to hear that, guys. I hope that your singular journeys take you where you need to go, and that you both end up where you ultimately need to be – whether it’s together or on your own. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, of happier times in the Schwarzenegger-Shriver relationship, shall we?
“At this point I don’t think I’m going to be able to do anything right in anybody’s eyes ever again, except kill myself or disappear, then people will be happy I guess.”
If there’s one kind of person that I despise, it’s That Person who’s constantly going on and on about how they should just kill themselves, because everyone hates them anyway and they’d just be doing the world a favor. And I know, there are actual suicidal people out there, but That Person isn’t in that category. That Person just wants attention and can go get fucked, ok?
I mean, we all know that Jesse is a massive douche and that he’s done some pretty awful things, but I don’t think that we want him to kill himself. Disappear, sure, he can ride off into the sunset with Kat Von D and stay in seclusion for the rest of his days, but is anyone really still pissed off enough at Jesse to recommend suicide?
Sarah linked you to this story last afternoon, but I feel the need to go more in depth with this. I feel the need to talk about my feelings. Is that ok?
Alicia Silverstone recently gave birth to that baby she’s been toting around, and not a moment too soon. It was a healthy baby boy, everyone’s happy – great story, right? But no. Alicia had to twist this happy little story to ridiculousness by naming her child Bear Blu. Do you love it?
Here was my thought process when I saw this: “Bear Blu. Bear in the Big Blue House.Bear in the Big Blue House was a stupid show. Blue’s Clues, now that was a quality show. With Steve hosting, of course, not the other guy. Man, I had such a crush on Steve when I was a kid.” Here’s where I’ll stop, because you don’t need to know my further thoughts on the host of Blue’s Clues, but you see where I’m going with this? I just think it would be nice if the first thought that came to mind when you introduce your baby to the world was something more like “aww, baby!” and less like “Nickelodeon had some quality children’s programming” or “wait, isn’t that a nationality, not a name?”
All you guys know exactly what I’m on about. Emily covered it earlier: CSI‘s Marg Helgenberger thinks Justin Bieber is a brat. So here’s Justin’s response to Marg’s comments:
Oh SNAP. It’s ON. But you know, Justin didn’t even stop there:
So here’s the funny thing. I’m so beyond the Justin Bieber fascination, and I frankly want to slit my wrists over the swooning young girls that fall all over themselves while they envision the Beeb serenading them with ‘Baby’ (even though I was totally one of them at one point, just over Isaac Hanson instead), but I’m kind of on the kid’s side with this one. I’m not necessarily saying that he’s right in blasting self-righteous tirades on Twitter about how adults should act, but he IS just a kid. And a kid is going to be a kid, brat-like or not. I like Marg Helgenberger, but throwing Justin under the bus for being an annoying seventeen-year-old prankster is just petty and sad.
Note to Marg? Just keep trying to get that check by playing Catherine Willows. I know it’s no Justin Bieber-like role, but it’s what you’ve got right now, girl. Do try to keep on the straight and narrow.
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