Well hell. Look who went to the dentist only to emerge looking like a cheap, brunette Lindsay Lohan clone, just without the fired-up coke stare!

Bristol Palin is trying to save face by insisting her new look is the result of a necessary medical procedure—not cosmetic surgery.

… She told Us Weekly the procedure was necessary so her jaw and teeth could properly realign. “Yes, it improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons,” she told the magazine for its May 23 issue.

Palin said while growing up she wore braces and a device to correct an overbite. But her dentist warned her there was a still a possibility she would need surgery one day. The single mom declared she would never get plastic surgery “unless I got in an accident or something terrible.”

Palin, who recently landed a reality show of her own, said she was happy with her new look. “I look older, more mature and don’t have as much of a chubby little baby face,” she said.

OK.  Let’s see just how many procedures we could guess that went on here:

1) Brow lift.  If you compare older photos of Bristol (like, recent older photos), now it looks like she’s got a permanent look of surprise etched on her face.

2) Lipo around the jowls and chin.  Sorry, but no dental realignment is going to suck the double chin off your face, girl.

3) Lip injections.  They might have been minor injections, but isn’t that how they all start off?

4) Rhinoplasty.  It totally looks like there’s much more room in between her top lip and the tip of her nose, but hey.  Maybe that’s that dental magic at work.

Either way, we, like, totally shouldn’t judge.  I mean, this is a hard-working, young single mother, and even if she DID get a whole new face to go with her whole new LA-livin’ reality star life, we can’t blame her.  Look what it did for Kate Gosselin, duh.

Hey Miley. I saw a few of your photos from a show in Paraguay. I hope you don’t mind that I share them with our readers. I mean, I know that you’re totally concerned with the way your young fans view you, and we may or may not get some of those same fans checking out our site’s content, but hey. Little girls should have to turn into big hos one day in order to be totally successful, right? I mean, isn’t that the message that you’ve been trying to send over the past few years? No? Shit. Guess I’m getting pretty awful at interpreting underage crotch shots, drinking, nude photos, and provocative grinding.

Keep it up, girl!

Images courtesy of celebrity-gossip.net

You guys are probably all split on how you feel about Osama Bin Laden‘s assassination of last week, but there’s probably not going to be much of a debate as to whether or not this video is funny as hell. It was shared with me by a friend on Facebook, and I laughed my ass off through almost the entire thing – especially the ‘two terms’ reference.

Love it or what?

Remember last week Kirstie was telling us that she was in a size 8 dress? Well BAM. You look away for seven whole days and girlfriend drops two more dress sizes. Fucking amazing, right? I mean, I don’t know if she’s sticking parrafin blocks up her ass or what, but there’s no. fucking. way. that Kirstie Alley is a size four right now. Even if her dresses are ‘stretchy,’ as she says, I’m still not buying it:

The actress admitted to consuming only 1,400 calories, but has decided to take Chmerkovskiy’s advice by upping it to 2,000. “He’s probably right. Usually what I do to lose weight, I eat 1,400 calories, but I guess if I’m working out five or seven hours then you have to change it around a little bit,” said Alley, who wouldn’t reveal how many pounds she has lost since being on DWTS. She did say she is down to size 4 and 6 dresses but joked ”they’re sort of stretchy.”

She looks beautiful, don’t get me wrong. And she’s lost a crap-ton of weight (pun totally fucking intended) and I’m so happy for her. She should really be proud of herself. But there’s no way on earth that she’s a size 4, and I’m insulted that she’d think I’d buy that runny BS.

Just keep your mouth shut about the specifics on your drastic weight loss, Kirstie, and we’ll draw our own conclusions as to how hot you are. We don’t need the constant overblown reminders.

Did Jonah Hill gain all that weight back? [The Superficial]

Who got the boot on Dancing With the Stars? [Bossip]

What former goddess is doing Playboy? [TMZ]

Is Keira Knightley finally eating? [Lainey Gossip]

Fox cancels practically all of its programming – was your favorite show shitcanned, too? [LA Times]

What duo was kicked off of Gossip Girl? [Socialite Life]

Marisa Miller boob, too! [Yeeeah]

Damn. I didn’t know he was THAT old. [Celebuzz]

This is EXACTLY what washed-up looks like. [Pajiba]

You’re probably going to see some real, live Pippa Middleton nip soon. [Amy Grindhouse]

The 16 hottest naked politicians. [The Frisky]

Pomplamoose covers the Angry Birds theme song. [The Frisky]

Eric Dane: I’m FINALLY attracted to Rebecca Gayheart. [Cele|bitchy]

“[Maria and I are] taking it one day at a time. I want to take a moment and thank our many friends and family for the tremendous amount of support and love that you have given us in the last 24 hours. I just spoke to Maria an hour ago before I came here. We both were saying the same thing – we’re extremely blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people, by so many wonderful friends.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about his separation from wife, Maria Shriver. Doing precisely the thing that their ‘joint’ statement from yesterday claimed wouldn’t happen: talking about their separation.

Just based on the above comment, and the new information that Arnold wishes to resurrect his acting career, I’m willing to bet that it was Maria who initiated the split, and now? She’s probably furious that the first thing Arnold did was run to the media.