Yes? Well, sorry, that’s not what this post is about. It’s about what aired DURING last night’s showing of Vampire Diaries, and it’s all about my dude, Harry Potter.

I know we’ve covered this, and there’s not much else to say beyond ‘OMFG what am I gonna doooooo every eighteen months after this is all over?!’

Are you guys somberly revering the franchise as it slowly, but surely, draws to a close?

Look, more Jessica Alba pregnancy pictures! [The Superficial]

Whitney Houston‘s daughter is in rehab too, LOLZ. [Cele|bitchy]

Are Mariah’s kids already going to be taken away? [Bossip]

What Bad Girls star is a fucking racist cunt? [TMZ]

It’s confirmed: he’s a male stripper! [Socialite Life]

Herpes outbreak scars Hollywood. Great job, douche. [The Blemish]

Jennifer Garner‘s got some of the cutest kids ever. [Celebuzz]

Andrew Garfield spotted in New York City, looking so divine. [Caught on Set]

What’s doing to happen to prime time programming on the networks this year? [LA Times]

Taylor Swift and her boyfriend-bashing songs are really getting fucking old. [Popbytes]

An amazing Irish anti-gay bullying ad. [OMGBlog]

Robert DiNiro teams up with Amanda Seyfried for what? [Huffington Post]

Khloe Kardashian‘s KAMEL TOE. [INFDaily]

Then you’re in luck!

As you probably know, Cannes goes on for, like, three years at a time and there’s always a whole crap ton of events, so instead of boring you with photos of filmmakers that you totally don’t recognize (or, you know, care about), I’ve chosen what I think to be the best of the Cannes photos thus far. Stay tuned – there’ll be more to come over the next six days or so.

Things to watch for? The gradual degeneration of my happiness as I witness Adrien Brody bringing some gawky blonde bitch as his ‘guest,’ Rachel McAdams looking more and more beautiful as the days go by, Angelina Jolie molesting a panda bear, Dustin Hoffman unable to keep his guffaws to himself as he hasn’t been to a Cannes since Hook was popular, and a variety of really pretty people (except for that gawky blonde bitch that Adrien Brody had the NERVE to bring – and after I TOLD him I was available this weekend, what the fuck, man).

Well, giving a BANANA a beej, but it’s probably the closest she’s gotten to an actual penis in eighteen months anyway (I keep telling girlfriend that crying over an erect penis is only going to make it shrivel after a minute) so we’ll work with it.

The above screenshot is from Jen’s latest movie, Horrible Bosses, and the movie looks like a raunchier reboot of Office Space. Just … with a sadder female lead. I’ll let you be the judge:

Love it? Hate it? Honestly, though, this movie’s got a killer cast. Kevin Spacey FTW, and Jason Bateman just gets more and more fuckable as the years go by. There’s even an appearance by one of my favorite HBO series actors, Wendell Pierce, who stars in Treme, the second best televised drama of all time.

What do you think – is Jennifer Aniston finally trying to break out of the sappy rom-com roles (and is she pulling it off), or should she just give it up already?

What super hot celebrity must have gotten a recent script tattoo, ’cause the last time I saw her at a movie premiere (hint: Sucker Punch), it totally wasn’t there?

(And also? Can someone please tell me why script tattoos are so damned expensive? I have a few tattoos myself, one of them being a script, and it was, like, triple the price of all my others. And actually? It might have been more than my other three tattoos combined.)

Take your guesses:

(more…)

I haven’t really gotten into how much I LOVE me some Bethenny Frankel on here yet, but now’s the perfect time because homegirl is getting sued for a cool $100 million.

As you’ve probably heard by now, she recently sold her company, SkinnyGirl, for $120 million dollars. That’s a lot of money for just about any self-made business woman (or anyone,) but for a Real Housewife? Good luck trying to top that, Jill Zarin of Zarin Fabrics.

Now that she’s made bank, all the sneaky little rodents who helped her out along the way are crawling back out of their gutters to try and grab a piece of her fortune, and one ex-manager is coming after her for $100 million, saying that since he was the one who introduced her to the liquor reps she grew SkinnyGirl with, he’s responsible for her success.

Bethenny released a statement today, and in true baller-ass bitch fashion, she brought it. She said, “Life is good for me with all the things that are most important, namely family. But let’s be clear, I am a strong woman, and I am not afraid and won’t back down when I’m bullied by something with zero merit. Success is earned by hard work, not taking advantage of others. Unfortunately, one of the signs of success is being the subject of frivolous lawsuits, like this one. This is simply someone with his hand out, who did nothing to earn it, and I am not going to be bullied.”

Damn. She later added, “We are exploring all of our options, including filing counterclaims against these people.”

You GO, Bethenny. I couldn’t be happier for her, her adorable husband Jason or her baby if I tried. Can’t wait to see her shut down this cretin in court.