Look, before we even get into this, I want to acknowledge that I am pretty easily angered and that I have a lot of issues to work through and that it’s not normal to start hating someone over something as petty as this, but THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, FOLKS! The crazy one’s on shift now! Wooo! Stay behind the plate glass window!

Now let’s get into it: When I saw these photos of Harry Potter himself walking around NYC with a nasty-ass bottle of Sprite Zero and a stupid hat on and whistling, I just about threw my computer out the window. Whistling in public? You know who does that? Assholes who think they’re special. I can whistle, too, you know. So can most adults and even children who’ve learned at an early age. Whistling is a fine thing to do when you’re out of the ear shot of others, but in public? Who the hell do you think you are? That is such entitled behavior. You’re not treating anyone to a whimsical little song, you’re just being mad annoying, Daniel Radcliffe.

You know what you need to do, Dan? You need to go rip a bong with your ex-coworker and chill the fuck out because that whistling? It’s ruining days. There’s not even audio to accompany these photos and you’ve ruined my fucking day. I can’t imagine what everyone around you must have been thinking. Probably something like, “Oh, that kid movie star thinks he’s so special that he needs to pollute our noise with his whistle-y version of Owl City or whatever the hell it is that kids listen to these days.”

Screw you, Radcliffe. Take that shit back to your hotel room.

And Rihanna follows Chris Brown on Twitter WHY? [The Superficial]

Yeah, Kanye‘s not at all looking for attention, right? [Bossip]

Britney stole Kim Kardashian’s dress. [Celebuzz]

Ashley Greene on the end of the Twilight mania. [Heatworld]

What rapper is officially a suspect in a murder case? [TMZ]

Charlie Sheen releases a statement on Ashton Kutcher as his replacement, shocks everyone. [The Frisky]

Botox-giving cunt of a mother gets her kid taken away. I say ‘good for the bitch.’ [Cele|bitchy]

Ram Boneh sounds like a porn star. Ram Boneh SHOULD be a porn star after these photos. I’d even settle for a leaked nude. [Socialite Life]

Lucy Hale does Seventeen. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Is Johnny Depp an undercover Royal? [Huffington Post]

And in more rapper news, what rapper was killed last night in a drive-by? [Bitten and Bound]

Today’s Tweets come with a side of good advice!  Now, you might not know this, but I’m a pretty awkward person.  I’m horrible at talking to people – I get nervous, and if I start talking at all then I ramble forever and eventually just start making noises – and a lot of times to avoid talking to people, I employ the classic blank stare.  I’m sure you guys know the move I’m talking about, but to clarify, I’m going to use a few Tweets as examples.

Thought:  Why are you telling me about sharting, that’s disgusting.  And why are you laughing about it?  And why did you even mention the castle?  Ugh, get it together, Ke$ha.

Action:  blank stare.

Thought: I don’t care to discuss breakfast foods with you, Lamar.  I appreciate you asking, but I’d rather just be left alone to fuck around on YouTube or paint my nails or basically anything besides this idle chitchat.

Action: blank stare.

Thought:  I have no idea what you’re trying to say to me, Erykah.  Clearly you have lost your mind, or the ability to communicate in an understandable fashion. You better call Tyrone – hey, has anyone ever told you that?

Action: blank stare

See what I mean?  If you ever just don’t have the energy or spirit or desire to speak to someone when they try to speak to you, a good long blank stare will get the message across with minimal effort on your part.  You’re welcome!

Special shoutout to our friends at WCHE 1520 in West Chester, PA for borrowing their Celebrity Tweet of the Day segment. We’re still not giving it back! ;) You guys can tune in and listen live at WCHE1520.com for even more celebrity-related banter and all-around, general awesomeness with our good friend, the studly Matt Lombardo.

I know, I’m so bad at these guessing games!  You didn’t even have to wait till the first paragraph to learn that Jennifer Love Hewitt is in talks to join the cast of Law and Order: SVU.  I’m sorry I took that fun away from you.

But this isn’t about the game, this is about the cold hard fact that one of my favorite shows, SVU, is about to absolutely ruin itself. Granted, I think it’s been going downhill since my elderly man crush, Richard Belzer, stopped being a regular, but this is serious.  It turns out that Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni have grown weary of solving sex crimes since ’99; Mariska’s character is getting a promotion within the precinct so she won’t have to work as much while Meloni himself is getting a raise.  Detective Stabler can’t be without a partner though, and that’s where Jennifer comes in!

Nothing’s set yet, at this point these are just rumors, but here’s what’s up: this show is winding down, you know?  It’s been twelve years, and things have gotten a little silly lately – it’s time to say goodbye.  And what better way to ruin something than to heavily involve Jennifer Love Hewitt?  Smart move, NBC.

For example, Michelle Rodriguez’s ill-fitting bikini bottom and the way it sags on her butt. I mean, she’s practically MOONING us, and what’s a whole lot funnier than mooning? NOTHING. What’s sexier than a full- or half-moon? LOTS OF THINGS.

Don’t get me wrong – Michelle Rodriguez is as hot as the day is long. She’s got that uber-tough, roundhouse kick you in your face while she’s blowing you look to her and not many women can pull that off. But the ‘suit has to go, Michelle. It just makes me LOL. I’m sure saying that will probably earn me a polished black combat boot up the ass, but hey – maybe that’s what I’m aiming for.

A: TRICK QUESTION, BITCHES! The answer is ‘both of them!’

AnnaLynne and her lesser-known sister, Angel, were photographed this past weekend out and about in LA and the paparazzi caught them both in less-than-flattering faces. (But don’t take it to heart from me – I’m someone who takes random, unstaged photos looking like I suffered some kind of stroke. Seriously? If you ever take my picture and want it to look OK, don’t surprise me with it. Guaranteed it’ll come out looking like ass.)

Angel McCord, though not as famous as her oh-yeah-so-totally-famous sister, is really trying hard. Sources at Britney Spears’s most recent party claim that Angel wagered nudity to hedge a bet this end, and someone (I’m still trying to figure out who in this case) won:

Annalynne McCord’s equally attractive sister, Angel, upstaged Britney Spears the other night by jumping into a pool in her underwear in front of 170 guests at a Britney-hosted LA dinner for the St. Bernard Project, which helps those still homeless after Hurricane Katrina. Angel offered, “My sister and I grew up in a trailer park — it is important we raise money. And if we get over $15,000, I’ll take off my dress and jump in the pool.” A spy reports, “A guy stood up and said, ‘Done!’ She took off her jewelry, called her friend over to unzip her dress and jumped in” — drawing cheers from Selena Gomez, Hilary Duff and Reggie Bush.

So yup. Imagine that: a McCord doing something embarrassing and inappropriate at a partyful of people who are way, way more famous (for more admirable things) than she. Go figure.