Look at our girl Lindsay now – she’s doing RADIO INTERVIEWS. Next thing you know, she’ll be hitting the big time again and doing, I don’t know, mall appearances or something. Some kind of crap book signing in the self-help section of Borders, does that sound about right?

Anyway, Lindsay appeared on Australia’s Kyle and Jackie O show where the hosts bugged Lindsay to give a definitive answer on her sex life, and whether or not she’s straight gay, or if dudes still have a chance.

I tried to listen to the other stuff she said, but it was really hard to understand what the hell she was saying through those sausage-like links lips. It was like listening to a recent stroke patient with a smoker’s cough.

How about you guys: would you still hit it?

Here’s one for all of you out there who thought Katy Perry was a bright one. It turns out that she hires some pretty questionable people when it comes to penning super-important things like rules for Katy Perry transportation. I mean, what on earth could be MORE IMPORTANT than Katy Perry transport? There are kids DYING IN THE WORLD, but making sure the doors are unlocked when you pick Katy Perry up from her LA mansion totally tops that sad-ass excuse for a reason to cry.

Also, and apparently, everyone surrounding Katy Perry is so busy trying to avoid staring at Katy Perry that their brains have turned to mush and the part that’s in charge of cognitive thinking and, you know, spelling proficiency has permanently been set on a low burner.

This can be the only explanation for the following rider to be riddled with such blatant misspellings. I mean, ‘mirrow’ for ‘mirror’? There’s a ton of ‘em, but how many can YOU pick out? Jump in to read all of the rules and regulations that must be adhered to when driving Katy Perry’s lazy ass around, and leave your corrections in the comments. I’ll be watching.

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OK, so we all know how girlfriend’s on an international tour because she hates Americans and we’re not all that fond of her either? Well, naturally, she’s doing things that go along with tours – like having professional photographers take her pictures and stuff. The photos we have her were snapped by Vijat Mohindra, who I guess is pretty famous in certain circles, but all I have to say is what a BAD JOB he did, because Miley looks about FORTY in all of these photos.

Let’s break it down:

Miley’s forehead: where’d she get that big gash of a scar? I mean, shit! I can’t believe, in all of the hours I’ve spent studying Miley’s visage, that I’ve never noticed that before.

Miley’s eyelids: this is one of the side-effects of spending way too much time in a tanning bed. Girlfriend’s got eyelids like moth wings. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such papery-looking lids on someone so young in my life.

Miley’s eyebrows: see, now, her eyebrows are actually killer. They’re great. No other comments on that, I guess.

Miley’s way-round jaw: I know, like Lady Gaga, she was born this way, but imagine what this big-ass sucker is going to look like when she’s fifty and already has forty years on the bottle as her excuse to be all swole-faced? Hell’s BELLS.

In short, it’s gotta be a Disney thing. Look at Britney – she’s not even thirty yet, is she? And Christina? They all look SO DAMN OLD and it’s not because they’ve been famous since they walked out of the womb, either. Something’s definitely afoot here, and it’s not just alcoholism,

Methinks it’s a little too late for Courtney Love to be curing AIDS. [The Superficial]

What do Leo, Bob, Sean and Ryan have in common? [Lainey Gossip]

The latest on Schwarzenegger‘s many children. [Bossip]

Is Sienna Miller trying to break Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson up? That HO. [Cele|bitchy]

Keira Knightley talks cheating. [Huffington Post]

What are you guys listening to this week? Check these out. [The Frisky]

Marion Cotillard gives birth! [Celebuzz]

OK, so she’s NOT dating Kanye West then I guess? [Yeeeah]

This woman voted sexiest of the decade or whatever? LOLZ PLEASE. [IDLYITW]

Adriana Lima blah blah blah crazy bra blah blah hot. [INFDaily]

So, who’s full of shit NOW with the Botox Mom story? [Amy Grindhouse]

Yup, Sarah Michelle Gellar is officially back. [LA Times]

Remember, like, a week ago I included a link in one of our partner roundups claiming that Chaz Bono wanted to get together with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s ‘gender-bending’ daughter, Shiloh, in order to give her some confidence-boosting gems of insight and maybe some direction on who the best sex reassignment surgeons in LA are?

Well it turns out mama Angie isn’t having any of it. In a reveal to OK! magazine, a source close to Jolie claims she was pissed:

Angelina Jolie fumed when she was told that Chaz Bono had spoken about her daughter Shiloh in an interview.

“Angie really feels that her kids are off-limits,” says an insider. “People have been openly discussing Shiloh’s sexuality for a while, simply because she dresses like a tomboy. It’s ridiculous. She’s not even 5 and she’s already labeled as having a gender crisis? It’s upsetting to them – it would be to any parent.”

Angelina resents the attention Shiloh’s tomboy ways have attracted. “The way she sees it is that it’s perfectly normal for little girls to be tomboys when they’re that age,” says an insider.

First of all, that’s absolutely right – this LITTLE CHILD is FOUR YEARS OLD. Could you imagine what a gender identity conversation with a four-year-old would be like? No? Well I’ll explain it to you, because I have a three-year-old: it’d be like trying to explain the intricacies of Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection, or the concept of dark matter. Seriously. Like, it’d go over that well.

My daughter wears Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sweatshirts with tutus, sneakers, and bows in her hair. She plays with dirt and Matchbox cars along with her baby dolls, pretend makeup kit, and Dora ballerina dress-up clothes. She’s obsessed with farming equipment, fire trucks, and tea parties with her stuffed animals. Her current favorite toy? A play toolbox complete with drillbits and drill. IT’S ALL NORMAL.

I know, Chaz, that you’re probably, like, desperate for fame, but aiming at a kid (and trying to give a child advice who’s so young that they probably still dream of the womb) is just ridiculous. You just need to keep your unsolicited advice to way-underage children to yourself, you bitch bastard.

Want to hear a little secret? I did not. see. The Hangover. Seriously. I know, to some of you, that’s like saying I don’t know who Dorothy Gale is or that the Beatles are one of the most overrated bands in history (oh, wait … they are), but I just cannot tell a lie. The Hangover never made it to my list of movies I just ‘gotta see.’ Even now, with its rampant availability and the gentle proddings of friends who claim I’d just love it, I’m not interested. Thereby? I’m not interested in seeing The Hangover II. But what I AM interested in is drooling over these photos of Bradley Cooper. I know a lot of people think he’s gay and whatever, but come on. It’s not like I’m trying to MARRY THE DUDE or something, he’s just some really great eye candy and I am LOOKIN’ FOR SOME SWEETS.

Are any of you as blasé about H II (or better yet, The Hangover) as I am? Are you just as equally excited about new Bradley Cooper photos as you are blasé? Because if you are, man? We have a lot in common this morning.

Also, not to miss: um, the whole ALL-ENCOMPASSING HOTNESS of most of the people at this premiere, including, but not limited to, Robert Downey Jr., Jason Bateman, JUSTIN BARTHA, Mike Epps, and a very pregnant Alyssa Milano who is just rocking the shit out of her new boobs. (Oh, and Zach Galifianakis, if you’re into that sort of thing EMILY TRAINHAM.)