Emma Watson was on her way to go see Bridesmaids over the weekend (and I gotta give her props for her good taste in that department) but her outfit was straight FourLoko. Thank goodness movie theaters are dark, right?

I’m no stranger to dressing like a lunatic, but thankfully no cameramen care about me. Any one of these pieces would have been just fine on their own, but together they’re a big ol’ mess. And to be totally frank, I’m not even sure what kind of magical creature can own a stark white scarf like that. I owned one of those it would look like a dish rag within 24 hours of first wearing it.

Do you think Emma’s outfit is redeemable, or does she need to stop smoking whatever Mary Kate Olsen’s been on for the last decade?

You may have seen our link to a story earlier today that said Katy Perry‘s husbro Russell Brand was deported from Japan yesterday, but ummm… Can we talk about what she was wearing while all of this went down?

Girl was pulling a full-Momsen, and OMG, is that Johnny Depp in Cry-Baby on her shirt?

Her hair and make up looks beautiful, but I’ve never understood the garter look, not even on hookers. That’s what it’s called, right? When part of your skirt is clipped to the top of your thigh highs? I mean, whats with that? What statement is being made there?

Oh, I don’t care which former pop star shaves her head in a drug riddled frenzy or who starts cutting herself and has to go to rehab today. This is the news of the freakin’ week and it’s only Monday! You guys! The trailer for The Muppets AKA Green with Envy is out!

*AIRHORN*

I’m pretty psyched because it doesn’t look like they’ve completely butchered the spirit of the original movies and it’s, you know, probably one of the greatest franchises of all time.

Jason Segel and Amy Adams7 I could really take or leave both of them, but as  long as there’s plenty of Piggy and Kermie action to distract me, I’m not going to make a fuss over it.

You may remember that a few months back, on the heels of recording Cee Lo Green’s “Forget You” for Glee, that there was all kinds of buzz about Gwyneth Paltrow getting a record deal and doing the whole music thing in a much more serious way. It turns out, the only thing Gwynnie was serious about was profiting off of her “musical talent” and Atlantic Records, the label that was set to sign her, isn’t willing to cough up the cash to make it happen.

From PageSix:

“Atlantic bosses were very interested, and [Atlantic owner] Warner chief Lyor Cohen was very supportive. But then the talks halted and the deal fizzled out. There was a rumor that Paltrow wanted $1 million to sign, but that is a ridiculous figure. Atlantic is still interested in signing her.”

Paltrow’s rep said in a statement: “Atlantic was not the only company pursuing her, and she still has not decided if she wants to record an album. It is still something she is considering.”

Leave it to Gwyneth to score a gold record covering someone else’s song and thinking that warrants her a one million dollar record deal, huh? Sounds like the bratty child of famous parents if you ask me…

She is the worst.

Eat your heart out, Leonardo DiCaprio. [The Superficial]

Large dudes that still get tons of puss. [Bossip]

Former Kiss guitarist bloodied up his wife, had a bunch of dead dogs in his home. [TMZ]

True Blood season 4 – the trailer has arrived! [The Frisky]

Prince William and Kate Middleton: are they sleeping together? [Cele|bitchy]

Rihanna and Britney lock lips at the Billboards. [Socialite Life]

Beyonce‘s mind-blowing Billboard performance. [Celebuzz]

David Schwimmer finally made it, has a working penis. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Zach Galifianakis does heroin on live TV. [Huffington Post]

Anna Kournikova newest trainer on Biggest Loser? [Bitten and Bound]

Brad and Angelina‘s kids are GETTING SO BIG. [Socialite Life]

Have you ever been hanging out with yourself or some friends, and all of a sudden the spirit moved you to make some sort of announcement?  Nothing relevant, nothing terribly poignant, just something that had to be said right then and there?  I do this all the time, and it turns out, so do celebrities.  And you won’t believe what a breeding ground Twitter is for such burning words.

And there are three of my favorite funny dudes with Twitter diarrhea (is that gross?  People say that, right, verbal diarrhea? This is another form, it’s Twitter diarrhea, similar to written diarrhea but not all that close to actual diarrhea.  Have I used the word “diarrhea” enough for one year?).