Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Can We Talk About Miley Cyrus’s Face for a Minute?

OK, so we all know how girlfriend’s on an international tour because she hates Americans and we’re not all that fond of her either? Well, naturally, she’s doing things that go along with tours – like having professional photographers take her pictures and stuff. The photos we have her were snapped by Vijat Mohindra, who I guess is pretty famous in certain circles, but all I have to say is what a BAD JOB he did, because Miley looks about FORTY in all of these photos.

Let’s break it down:

Miley’s forehead: where’d she get that big gash of a scar? I mean, shit! I can’t believe, in all of the hours I’ve spent studying Miley’s visage, that I’ve never noticed that before.

Miley’s eyelids: this is one of the side-effects of spending way too much time in a tanning bed. Girlfriend’s got eyelids like moth wings. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such papery-looking lids on someone so young in my life.

Miley’s eyebrows: see, now, her eyebrows are actually killer. They’re great. No other comments on that, I guess.

Miley’s way-round jaw: I know, like Lady Gaga, she was born this way, but imagine what this big-ass sucker is going to look like when she’s fifty and already has forty years on the bottle as her excuse to be all swole-faced? Hell’s BELLS.

In short, it’s gotta be a Disney thing. Look at Britney – she’s not even thirty yet, is she? And Christina? They all look SO DAMN OLD and it’s not because they’ve been famous since they walked out of the womb, either. Something’s definitely afoot here, and it’s not just alcoholism,

29 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Wow. I see nothing wrong with her. She looks her age, the scar is no big deal, people get them. As for the eyelids um can you say eyeshadow? Jaw looks fine…The only messed up thing about her is that crooked front tooth and props to her for seeming to not want to get it fixed. I don’t like her but damn, its like you just pulled all that stuff out of your ass.

  • I agree with CM. There’s nothing really wrong with her in these photos. Your comments seem petty and as though you’re painfully searching for a laugh.

    I’m really disappointed with the turn the humor has taken on this website. Frankly, I’ve begun to skip over Sarah’s articles completely. EvilBeet is a little bitchy on occasion, but only when it’s warranted. I’ve always been able to say ‘she’s got a point’ to the jabs posted on this blog. Not so much anymore.

  • In the second picture her jaw looks a little rounded because of photo editing, at least that’s what it looks like to me. Other than that one teeny little thing she looks great. No homo intended ;)

  • bahaha I actually enjoy the way you fuse humour and sarcasm with pop culture, it seems to be your job after all. Don’t be so serious peeps! What are you here for?

  • she has turn from being an inspiration to a slut. i used to see her as my role model but now i think i was wrong.

  • You are always complaining about celebrities hiding who they are through photoshop cover-ups and such. Then you flip like a pancake and whine about how they’re not perfect enough looking–only the one’s you hate, maybe.

    I love the scar…shows she’s real. Tina Fey has a scar. Scar’s happen. Smoothing them out is sad. There are always stories behind them. Some tragic, some bad-ass, some stupid. But a scar is a scar. It is there for good and shows mighty character on the body.

    As far as her looking old…I think you are just threatened or trying to be mean/funny and failing.

    Once again, I think this site should detach itself from Zelda Lily. Well, neither site is feminist. Constantly bashing women is not a feminist trait.

  • Bitch, like you look any different. I don’t like Cyrus anymore than you may, but how can you stoop so low? While she’s out making millions with a gift, your sitting in a desk chair commenting on people who are better than you. You know what your problem is? You’re just jealous. She makes millions, while you make barely a dime. P.S. Have you seen your picture lately? Look at it and say shit about your ugly ass.

  • I don’t see anything wrong with the way Miley looks. She’s a cute girl and as far as the scar goes, I’ll bet you’ll find 8 people out of 10 will have scars. Because she’s famous people, who have nothing better to do, than to write to write blogs about other people like to bag on kids. Lighten up… geez

  • If she hates Americans, why isn’t she interested in people from other countries either?

  • U know this was bound to happen to her. Look at Britney and Christina. Just for example Britney first messed herself up than her sister followed behind. So where I am getting at is Miley is showing her ass and things on stage every night. I know her sister is an actress so she will be a dumb ass and follow in Miley’s footsteps.

    • shut FUCK up DUMB ASS BITCH what makes you so FUCKING good …Stop talking SHIT about Miley.
      Jeremy W