Even though girlfriend has appeared in public lately more (maybe?) sober than wasted, she’s still suffering the ill effects of someone who just won’t break up with the bottle. And if you’re wondering what ill effects I’m talking about, just open up a new tab on your browser and head to Facebook. You know Those People – the ones from high school or college that you’re almost shocked to recognize when you realize who it is through all of the facial bloat. The ones who apparently spend all of their free time congregating at their local bar, who look a lot like what Will Smith did when he had an allergic reaction in Hitch.
Woo. Anyway, Christina, I think it’s high time for you to lay off the bottle. It’s really starting to interfere with your looks, chick.