Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn Held Hands in Public Last Night, Guys

Okay, now this is where being a gossip blogger sometimes starts to feel like being a sixth grader because, like, OMG, Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn were like, totally holding hands last night at the White House Correspondent’s dinner and that like, officially means that they’re a couple.

Who cares that they held hands? Well, I guess a lot of mainstream press outlets and probably anyone who didn’t think it was totally obvious that these two have been fucking for at least the last two months. We’ve been saying that for awhile around these parts, and we’re also pretty sure that Scarlett is preggo (on account of the aforementioned fucking.) That bunchy dress she wore last night isn’t doing anything to kill those rumors, either.

Great for these two! So glad that we’ve all confirmed that they’re a couple.

Now I’m going to try and see if the Claire’s in the mall is having a 2-for-1 accessories sale and ask my best friend to tell the boy I like that I like him. You know, like, like like him.