Absurdity? Generally, I’m all about it. I have a flair for the absurd, just ask anyone who knows me personally. I’m the type of chick who’ll go grocery shopping, alone or even with another person, and will make animal noises throughout the empty aisles to see the reactions of the other shoppers in the other aisles. Loud, inappropriate noises at random times are, like, the best.

The only thing that really tops that? When you get candid shots of half-naked celebrities in your inbox first thing in the morning.

Here’s Courteney Cox, on her Platonic Friend Vacation Tour with the younger, way more attractive than David Arquette-dude that she works with, who she is TOTALLY not banging, right?

Ready? Set? BOOB.

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So, I’m sure you guys heard the song a fucking-bajillion times already, but this is the video for Katy Perry‘s new single, E.T., which features Kanye West.

The song itself isn’t horrible (I mean, I listened to it once, and I plan to, like, not do that again), but the video? Is just plain weird. I mean, is it Independence Day? Is it Wall-E? Is she kissing a black man-alien? Because you just KNOW that the Reverend Mama Perry is probably against interracial dating, too, right along with being against other insane things like boobs, dancing, dem gayz, and soda.

According to eyewitnesses, Ashlee Simpson appears to be getting ready to put the ‘Wentz’ back into the ‘Simpson-Wentz’ of her last name.

The couple and their son were photographed yesterday at a mall in LA getting Starbucks, and the pictures that were taken suggest that there’s some reconciling going on in this broken marriage. As you can see, Ashlee and Pete are holding hands, and correct me if I’m wrong, if you’re getting a divorce, or trying to work out a solid separation, you don’t generally go around giving the other person the wrong idea by holding their hand.

But hey, I could be wrong – because then again, we ARE talking about Ashlee Simpson here, who seems like she leads Pete-the-lapdog around by the crook of his nose.

I don’t know, guys.  I have no doubts that Pete wants his family to work, but if this chick, (who’s apparently indecisive as to whether she wants to bail or not) can’t make up her mind, it’s only going to put further stress on their family life, and that poor, sad little boy (uh, Bronx, that is) doesn’t deserve that kind of shit.

I’m calling BS on the whole thing.

So earlier this week, Lady Gaga had a big old birthday party for herself at an upscale LA club, and hoards of celebrities were in attendance, including Adam Lambert. I guess it’s no surprise that Adam and Gaga would get along notoriously, as their music is kind of similar and both Adam and Gaga idolize Elton John, so if worse came to worst, they could skip the party altogether and do killer renditions of ‘Rocket Man’ at some random burlesque-karaoke digs, right?

Well, not really: Adam was actually a plus-one of the Scissor Sisters, who were legitimately invited to the party, and according to sources inside and outside of the club, Adam was way embarrassing in his drunkenness, fist-pumping a la Jersey Shore to the music, accidentally punching a hole in the club’s ceiling, and later trying to smush birthday cake in Lady Gaga’s face. After all that business, Gaga had security remove Lambert from the premises.

OK, first of all, I absolutely abhor That Friend. The one who mucks everything up on a good night out because you either have to take care of their drunken, sloppy ass after they puke or get busted in the face by some stranger, and then? The rest of your night is shot in the ass. I guess I could see Adam Lambert being like that, but come on. Have a little more self-control and, by virtue, self-respect. No one thinks that being around that kind of shit is funny – or cute.