All right, I know I’m a few days late with this.  I’m aware of that.  But I’m still a little shaken up from the tornadoes that ripped through my town and, you know, my region of the U.S. last night, so I think you guys can cut me a little slack here. Also, it’s Jeff Goldblum, and you can’t not love Jeff Goldblum.

It turns out that the Biebz and Marky Mark are about to do a little business together.  A little collaboration, if you will.  Now, before you get your hopes up that Justin is going to be the newest member of The Funky Bunch, let me gently inform you that this collaboration is a film.  It’s not music.  The Biebz isn’t going to lay down vocals on a “Good Vibrations” remix, and he never will.  I’m sorry.

Check out what Mark had to say about the project:

“Justin Bieber and I are going to do a movie together. We’re putting it together. Yeah, we’re doing it at Paramount. We pitched them the idea, and we talked to him [Bieber] about doing it and he loved the idea.

“Been sending me videos – he sent me a video of himself and yeah, I think he’s really talented.

“We’re going to do something interesting. More of a drama. It’s interesting, right? You want to know. I will not (be singing) and neither will he.”

Ok, let’s just get one thing straight here:  Justin Bieber is not “really talented” at acting.  I mean, musically he’s a gift to this world, an angel, I daresay, but the boy is not going to thrive in a dramatic, scripted film.  He’s just not.

Would any of you see this theoretical movie?

“Obama was something fresh, and new, and people wanted to put their faith in his message of being different and ‘change’ and all this stuff two years ago, but that fell flat because he gets in there and it’s pretty much the same old thing. I think everybody can agree on that, there’s no real change. … Gasoline is going to be six dollars a gallon by the end of the summer. They want to raise the debt ceiling, and we have a trillion and a half dollars already in debt. … I’d be open to Donald. He’s somebody out of the box and I think that some of the stuff he’s saying makes sense. It sounds like you and I would say it, and it’s time. … I think Donald is an interesting character. He’s an amazing CEO, this is a business. This is a business, running this country is a business and it has not been run the last decade the right way, whether it’s Republican or Democrat, so it’s not really a party issue, it’s more of a person issue. Somebody has to get in there and really hold people accountable.”

Joey ‘Whoa!’ Lawrence on the many intricacies of politics. I was totally open to listening to his tirade up until he mentioned supporting Donald-fucking-Trump, and then it was all lost on deaf, bleeding ears.

I’m not saying that everyone’s not entitled to their opinions about government, politics, and the way that their nations are run, but how about this: instead of regurgitating whatever headlines you’re hearing out of the corner of your ear on your network of choice, or seeing short snippets of headlines in newspapers and failing to read the entire story, educate yourself. Lawrence, as far as I’m concerned, made no startling revelations aside from stating what he’s heard in various arenas of the media over the past six-to-twelve months.

I respect people – and especially celebrities who have a part in being a ‘role model,’ no matter how small – for their opinions, whether or not they differ from my own, but come on. Let’s have a little originality here. It’d be like a hardcore Democrat continuously walking around with a sign crying ‘YES WE CAN!’ and NOTHING ELSE for the last two years now.

PS – Despite current prices, gas won’t be six damned dollars a gallon by the end of the summer. Check out info on the market and current and historic oil trends before you start your Donald-supporting fear-mongering, JOEY.

And you know, seriously, this woman beats the hell out of all of Charlie’s other ‘goddesses.’ She’s got more class, more fashion sense, and apparently more taste, as she wouldn’t open her lips to the nicotine-laden tongue that still hasn’t yet rotted out of Charlie’s mouth.

An elderly woman was brought up on stage at one of Charlie‘s recent tour stops, where the audience – childishly – began chanting ‘Kiss her! Kiss her!’ It took Charlie an uncomfortable moment to make a move, and probably made the poor woman feel ridiculous in the process, but finally planted a quick one on her at the audience’s request.

Don’t worry, Charlie – Mila Kunis felt the same way when she heard you wanted her for one of your trashy goddesses. Gross.

Joey Lawrence: a bigger cunt than you ever thought before. [The Superficial]

Sean Penn gussies up for Scarlett Johansson. [Lainey Gossip]

What did Khloe Kardashian say to make everyone feel sorry for her? [Bossip]

Richie Sambora is headed for rehab again. [ICYDK]

Ryan Reynolds thinks he’s bigger and better than Star Wars. See? DELUSIONAL. [Pajiba]

Speaking of cunts, Gwyneth Paltrow called her grandmother one. Sweet woman, huh? [Huffington Post]

Levi Johnston thinks he should be on Oprah’s show before it shits the bed. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

PHOTOS: Rihanna gets a full-body scan! [Celebuzz]

Am I the only one who totally hates Chris Colfer‘s hair? [Caught on Set]

Katie Holmes gets an apology from a magazine over drug allegations. [Popbytes]

That’s one hell of an engagement ring. [Bitten and Bound]

Paris Hilton: “It wasn’t me.” [The Blemish]

Kate Hudson reveals the sex of her baby? [INFDaily]

I know I’m probably in the minority along with Sassy Gay Friend, here, but I’m gonna lay it out for you: I could give a crap less about what’s going down across the pond tomorrow. Really. I mean, it’s been fun talking about Kate Middleton and how patient she’s been and stuff over the past eight years while Prince William dealt with sexuality issues or whatever, but after tomorrow, the Prince and Kate are going to fall off into general obscurity, until the Prince starts sticking his royal wang into the hot, buttered biscuits of another … person.

Then we’ll pay attention again for a few minutes, but ’til then? I’m with SGF when I say ‘who the eff cares,’ how about you?