If not, you might want to reconsider, because it’s some high class entertainment of the polygamist variety.  There’s Kody, the handsome man-child in the middle up there, and then there are all his ladies.  There’s his first and only legal wife, Meri, on the far left, and she’s my favorite because she’s sweet, but she doesn’t take any of Kody’s shit (and Kody has a lot of shit, trust), then Janelle, his second wife who let herself go but makes the most money in the house, then Christine, the seriously sassy third wife whose main job is to pop out kids and to take care of the existing ones, and the new one, Robyn, the weepiest sweetheart I have ever seen.  They have 16 kids altogether.  Are you caught up?  Good.

Because Robyn is pregnant!

The family’s 17th child will be here in October.  Can you imagine, 17 kids in one family?  There are two neighborhood kids playing outside in my yard, and I’m about ready to strangle someone. And 17 kids all carrying Kody’s douchebag DNA?  Please.

So what do you guys think about all this?  How many more babies do you think this family will have?  Have you experienced the hilarity of calling someone in your life “sister wife?”  Do you even watch Sister Wives?  Get back at me so we can talk about TLC’s fine family programming!

I don’t get Taylor Swift at all.  Can anyone explain her appeal to me?  I get that she’s cute, I’ll accept that, but it’s almost overwhelming how much I don’t care about her music.  But Mumford and Sons?  Oh man, you don’t even know.  Back in February I went through a period of about two weeks in which the only music I listened to was Mumford and Sons, and trust me, pretty much all my socially retarded self does is listen to music.

All that being said, I don’t think TayTay’s cover of “White Blank Page” is the worst thing I’ve ever heard, which I sincerely mean as a compliment.  She does a pretty decent job considering, you know, she’s Taylor Swift, and besides, look at how hard she’s feeling it. She means these words, you guys, and she means them from the depths of her soul.  Think she’s pining over Jake still?

Let me tell you, there’s nothing I enjoy like a good old-fashioned feud. Ain’t nothin’ better to get that blood pumpin’. And a feud between Lindsay Lohan and Betty White?  Forget it.

So here’s what happened.  It all started when Betty told The Daily Mail the following:

“They party too much, don’t learn their lines, are unprofessional and they grumble about everything. I think they are terribly ungrateful. I cannot stand the people who get wonderful starts in show business, and who abuse it. Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, for example, although there are plenty of others, too. They are the most blessed people in the world and they don’t appreciate it.”

Once again, Betty White told it like it is. Charlie hasn’t responded because he’s probably still too busy being completely out of his mind, but apparently Lindsay’s come down long enough to get her feelings hurt by Betty’s statement, and here’s what she had to say:

“Wow. I’ve always been a fan of hers. It’s just a bit strange when people feel they must speak publicly about others. Especially a grown woman.”

Lindsay, girl, you know Betty’s right on this one.  Maybe instead of making statements like this, you can prove her wrong by, you know, giving a damn.  I know it’s a little late in the game at this point, but we all know you’ve got it in you.

Man, Kristen Stewart turned 21 today, can you guys imagine? For my 21st, we went down to the Applebee’s at around 4:00 in the afternoon, and I was just sipping on a daiquiri, all classy, until my old prom date showed up stoned and started ordering me margaritas and drinks that were so strong that he had to order more margaritas that I could use as chasers.  Then we went to go see Night at the Museum 2 and I ran into a wall trying to make my way from the theatre to the bathroom.  But I bet Kristen’s birthday adventures will be way more hip than mine, you know?  Like if by midnight tonight she hasn’t been seen in some dive bar, chain smoking Parliaments and tossing back PBRs like a champ, then something is very wrong.

To celebrate this important occasion, I’ve compiled several photos of Kristen being awkward throughout the years.  Check it out – Kristen’s no doubt a pretty girl, but she can’t dress herself at all, and she’s definitely not one of those people who are always conscious of what her face is doing, right?  But that’s fine, that’s not important because she’s an actor, not a model, and she needs to focus on her acting.  Like really, she needs to nail that acting thing down real soon.

Love you, K Stew!  Have a PBR for me!

Actually, she thinks she’s too cool for a parking ticket, but that’s not a well-known saying.  Let’s move on.

See, lately Amanda Seyfried has been hard at work promoting her new movie, Red Riding Hood (which I’ve heard is horrible, have any of you seen it?).  Just a couple days ago she was in London at a premiere of the film, and when everything was over, she went back to her car, and she had a little sit down with her driver and a buddy, just chillin’ in the car, you know, when some ballsy traffic cop moseyed on over and was like “hey, you’re doing something wrong, here’s a ticket.” But do you think Amanda motherfucking Seyfried is going to take that shit lying down?  Hell no.  This girl “threw the ticket back at the traffic warden, telling him: ‘Thank you but no thank you.’”  Can I get an “oh, snap,” please?

But for real, who does this girl think she is?  ”Thank you but no thank you,”  bitch, you take that parking ticket with respect. You’re representing America, and don’t you forget it.

There are three things in this world that always look cheap and trashy to me: denim jackets, fringe, and Chloe Sevigny.  Now, I’ll concede that my distaste for denim jackets is silly and unfounded and a completely personal thing, and I’ll accept that fringe might have its place in the world with period costumes, but Chloe Sevigny? I won’t budge on that one.