I promised myself I wouldn’t cave and buy into the hype that surrounded the wedding, and I did SO WELL, you guys. I wasn’t one of those who got my ass up at three this morning, tiptoeing to the living room to watch two people that I could give a rat’s ass about tie the knot and stumble back to bed an hour later, still half-asleep, with visions of Hollywood-white teeth and polite waves in my head. I did, however, check out the photos when I first got up this morning, and I have to say: my God in heaven, Kate Middleton looked beautiful. Like, she’s a pretty girl as it is, but she looked BEAUTIFUL. She was the embodiment of what a princess should look like, and it totally appealed to the little six-year-old in me who’s still looking for a frog to kiss (totally found him – warts and all. I sleep next to him at night, you know).

Anyway, congratulations to the couple, for real – you guys looked amazing, and I’m so glad that your day has been great so far, but now … Can we get on with our lives, please?

Is anyone else completely horrified by the news that all three of Michael Jackson‘s kids, Prince, Paris and Blanket, are enrolled in after school acting classes? I mean, community theater is a perfectly acceptable activity for children, but all three of them are studying with a real acting teacher and reading books about “respecting the craft” and shit. Um, did the Jackson’s ever hear of soccer or Girl Scouts or something? Haven’t these kid’s lives been hectic enough without throwing the whole “child acting” thing into the mix?

Thankfully, Paris (who is freakin’ gorge, BTW) seems to be the only one of the three who’s really into the performance side of things. She’s been saying in interviews for quite some time that she wants to grow up to be an actress and that she and her father often improvised sketches around the house. According to Prince, he’d rather be behind the scenes working as a producer or director. Blanket? Well, God knows what he wants to do, but I’m guessing “changing his name to something other than Blanket” is on his shortlist.

Hey, Jackson family: How about pulling these munchkins out of the industry for a few minutes and letting them act like normal kids? Also, how about respecting Michael’s wishes not to have their faces plastered all over the place? You may recall that they had to wear masks in public for most of their lives, so why do you think he’d want them in front of the camera now? Yeesh.

Lookie what we have here! A whole set of photos of that skinny little future princess Kate Middleton arriving at the London hotel where she and her family will be staying tonight in anticipation for tomorrow’s Royal Wedding (and I capitalize those words because everyone else does, not because I think they’re worthy of capitalization.)

Sarah already said today that she and Sassy Gay Friend don’t care about Kate and William‘s big day, but I’m going to go ahead and tell you that I’m flat-out annoyed by it. Kate’s no Diana and there are bigger things going on in the world than the marriage of a future King and his girlfriend. Why is all of this attention being paid to a couple of rich monarchs?

Is Kate pretty? Of course! Do I think she probably would have beaten the shit out of me in high school (despite the stories out there that say she was bullied herself?) Oh, hell yes. This girl totally gives me shit talker/backhanded compliment giver vibe. I don’t trust her, I’m over the fact that I’m supposed to be excited or intrigued by this whole event. And Prince William? Woof. Remember when he used to be hot?

I’ll tell you who is excited about all of this hubbub. My favorite aunt, who’s “Royal Wedding Tea Tray” has been set up in her Massachusetts living room for the last week. I just sent a picture of it to Twitter, check it out. God bless her, huh?

This post is all about giving props to 45-year old Cindy Crawford, who’s rocking the cover of Vogue Mexico like it’s the early 90s again.

Cindy was pretty much the most beautiful lady in the world when I was growing up (I even named my pet crawfish, Cindy Crawfish, after her,) and it’s amazing to see that in the time it’s taken me to get boobs (sorta,) graduate high school, go to college and work for seven years, that she hasn’t changed one freakin’ bit.

Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t a “Wow, she looks great for her age,” post, this is a “What the hell has she been doing to keep herself looking this good over the years and can she bottle it and sell it to me, please,”-type of thing. I mean, I knew there was some crazy stuff going on over at her house, but not straight-up magic.

Damn, Cindy! Do you, girl! Let’s see you rock out like this in another 20 years, okay?!

Ugh, I’m not sure I’m even prepared for another Twilight movie to be released. We’ve been talking about this movie for months (hell, it seems like years) and I don’t think the trailers are even running in theaters yet. But I’m not totally selfish. I know that there are plenty of Twihards out there that absolutely can’t wait to see R.Patz and K.Stew‘s tame sex scene and melt down in the theater when it’s finally all over after all of these years. I’ll give you your moment, and apparently, so will Entertainment Weekly.

The magazine is releasing their May 6th issue with two different covers that celebrate the franchise, one with Rob and Kristen and the other with Taylor Lautner. If I had to put my money on which will sell better, my guess would be the former, but I’ve learned that it’s silly to underestimate the power of The Lautner.

Let me know which cover you plan on purchasing in the poll and, as always, the comments are here for any and all thoughts and feelings you might like to share. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of ‘em.

Surprise, surprise: Paris Hilton and her boyfriend were attacked on the way ou of court yesterday. [The Superficial]

Kate Middleton looks totally chill on the day before her wedding. [Lainey Gossip]

For those who can spare a few thought for all of those killed in the last day by these fucked-up-ass storms. [Bossip]

Are there still any Morrissey fans around? Look what he said. [Cele|bitchy]

Britney lost a role to Naomi Watts for WHAT MOVIE!? [Hollywood Dame]

Donald Trump claims he’s not a racist. [TMZ]

Raquel Welch thinks there’s a ‘lost art’ to being a woman. Do you agree? [The Frisky]

How to check out women the ‘right’ way. [The Frisky]

This is why Miranda Kerr looks the way she does. [Socialite Life]

Henry Cavill in Immortals. Um, wow. [OMGBlog]

I don’t know who Hilary Rhoda is, but she’s way way hot in these pics so that’s all that matters I guess. [IDLYITW]

Why Katie Couric is leaving. [Yeeeah]

Eva Longoria is REALLY trying a bit too hard here. [Heatworld]

Is this some kind of fake, frigged-up baby bump? [INFDaily]