About a year and a half ago I got pretty brutally dumped by this dude and over the course of two months I went from being a total sadsack that would have killed to be his girlfriend again to relishing in his every failure. One day I was reporting my his most recent disappointment (which I’d learned about via Facebook because I’m so cool) and my friend said to me, “You wont be happy until that mother fucker is dead. You won’t be happy until he’s got his shit packed in plastic bags on a Greyhound bus on his way home to his mama’s house,” and I was like, “Oh my God. That’s the truest thing you ever said.”
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that that’s what Courteney Cox is doing to David Arquette. I was pretty sure that’s what was going down here before, but after seeing her awkwardly crash his appearance on Howard Stern yesterday, I’m certain of it.
There’s no way that Courteney didn’t know that Howard would go digging into the sad shitshow that is the current state of their relationship AND the fact that everyone thinks she’s getting porked by one of her co-stars. That’s what Howard does! But instead of letting David have his lousy hour in the spotlight, she came charging into his interview and made things all uncomfortable.
I’m already going to see Scre4m tonight, Courteney! No need for promotion! We were all alive in the late ’90s/early ’00s and are quite fascinated by the three movies that came before this one. Leave that poor man alone!