Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I See London, I See France, is Kim Kardashian Wearing Spanx?

photo of kim kardashian red dress upskirt spanx photos pictures

Oopsie! You’ll never see a full-on view of Kim Kardashian‘s cooter wearing those things. Those … Spanx things. But let’s be honest and call them what they really are: they’re girdles, aren’t they. GIRDLES. I know that the term ‘girdle’ isn’t nearly as provocative and sexual as ‘Spanx,’ but a rose by any other name still smells as sweet, right? We’ll go with GIRDLE today.

I never really got the whole girdle thing, anyway. I mean, I know they’re designed to hold in any wobbly bits, and make you look less bouncy in a dress, but at the end of the night, when the girdle comes off, is it all BA-ROOOM IN YOUR FACE? And isn’t that kind of a surprise for everyone involved? Frankly speaking, Kim Kardashian’s a hot woman. And she’s a lot like my girl Jennifer Love Hewitt. I could give a crap less about how much your ass wiggles when you walk or if you’ve got cellulite or strech marks. Spanx have a funny name, and they look funny when your dress blows up. I’d rather see real women than real-sucked-in women any day of the week, and if that means subjecting myself to vadge and body parts au natural, I suppose there could be worse things to witness, you know?

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Promise me you’ll repost your take on this when you’re forty. I like my lady lumps, man (they’re lovely, whatwhat) but there are just times when you gotta smooth the bumps outta the road, yo.

  • If Liz Lemon has taught us anything, it’s that spanx are iconic. If Bridget Jones has taught us anything, it’s that sure, a thong is better for crucial moment, but giant knickers increase chances of getting to crucial moment.

    Plus, wobbles don’t feel half as bad as they look.

  • okay, who gives a hoot if she wheres this under her dress because she doesnt want poparotsy to snap a pic of her vadge. i wear those under some of my dresses and im only 16. you can use them to smooth out underwear lines

  • We have seen Kim Kuntdashians kooter already. It’s now tainted meat. Once you go black we don’t want you back!

    • Thats so funny on how you put that,”once you go black we don’t ant you back”,lol.

  • @Dick Trickle That’s fine because since she’s gone black, she doesn’t want to go back anyway…

  • Sorry, but I think her butt is way too fat. There is nothing sexy about it. This is the reason she’s wearing those “Spanx” underneath her dress…so that the cottage cheese won’t be jiggling everywhere.