No? Well here you go. It’s the lady’s big return to television. Pretty soon? She’ll be doing it live, and now won’t that be something?

Either way, what did you guys think? Is the bitch back, or is she still just a robotic shadow of her former self?

Rafael Nadal shows off his crack for Armani, does it suavely. [Socialite Life]

First photos of Miley and Billy Ray together since the divorce was been called off. [Celebuzz]

20 celebs that you might be surprised to know that they sing – well. [The Frisky]

Scott Disick calls Americans ‘childish.’ And you thought his douchiness had been rehabilitated, tcha. [Cele|Bitchy]

Was the assaulting Teen Mom set up? (I somehow doubt it.) [TMZ]

Did Tom Cruise get a massive facelift? [Lainey Gossip]

Meg Ryan’s son? TOTALLY HOT. [ICYDK]

Mad Men cancelled? [Huffington Post]

Apparently there’s a Candyland movie being filmed. … I KNOW. [Pajiba]

Chris Brown does some more heinous shit. [IDLYITW]

Yes, Jessica Simpson‘s new scuba gear line is sure to suck. [The Superficial]

Hey, look, a cute pregnancy bump, and there’s probably no question that it’s Mariah Carey’s. The butterfly kind of gives it away, but I’ll be honest: I’m mildly disappointed that her entire stomach isn’t covered with a massive overabundance of glitter and sequins and all the other Mariah Carey-related ephemera that’s defined her very style over the years. Plus, she Tweeted it, so unless she’s taking creepy pictures of other pregnant women and sharing their photos without their knowledge or permission, then I’m assuming it’s definitely hers.

Also, can someone explain to me the purpose of the band-aids over her bellybutton? I mean, I know that protruding pregnancy bellybuttons are generally ugly as hell, but come on – it’s not as if it doesn’t happen to practically every woman who endures it. Is it that bad that it needs to be taped down and concealed by painted plastic? And is it so weird that I want to see just how crazy girlfriend’s bellybutton looks these days?

Well hell’s bells. I didn’t know Jesse James could write. Or read. But hey! Here he is, pushing a book that tries to portray him as some pseudo-sexual being that just emanates bad-boy sex, dirty leather chaps, and strong whiskey. If it were anybody else (oh, say, Adrien Brody, for example), it’d be totally hot, but really? It just makes Jesse look all Sling Blade demented and, frankly, kind of gross.

But that’s no real deviation from the truth, now, is it.

Yes, friends: Jesse James’ creatively tries to use his unoriginal name to adapt a persona that just doesn’t exist – but I guess that’s what you do when you’re such a blatant embarrassment in real life, isn’t it?

So apparently, Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams – the love interests on gut-bustingly-funny Wedding Crashers – have reunited for a new Woody Allen movie, Midnight in Paris. The film portrays an engaged couple on holiday in Paris, who end up spending their time doing drastically different things than they planned.

The movie stars both Wilson and McAdams, and also includes Kathy Bates AND ADRIEN BRODY. I’m already totally taken with this movie – I mean, as if it didn’t already have a fucking zillion elements that would totally attract me to it: Wedding Crashers might have been one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen and Owen Wilson is fabulous; Rachel McAdams is my number one girl-crush, and ADRIEN BRODY. Well. You guys know how I feel about him – my one, unrequited, untouchable love.

I’m totally sold. Woody Allen can, generally, suck my ass (especially for not running Adrien in the trailer), but this movie? I’ll definitely be seeing. And probably owning at some point, too.

I know we talk a lot of shit on Lea Michele, and say a lot of pretty crazy things about her, but believe: the last thing we ever wanted was for girlfriend to get hit by a car – but that’s precisely what happened early one morning this past weekend.

Lea was leaving work around 2 AM in Los Angeles, and when crossing the street, she was hit by a car. Like, as in a two-ton or whatever vehicle.  She was alright, and she the police, but no word was left as to whether or not the vehicle stopped and checked to see if she was OK. (Don’t worry – she’s OK.)

As I said above, we might not be fans of (alright, I might not be a fan) of Lea Michele, but really – I sure wouldn’t want to hit her with my car. I mean, can you imagine how much of a BITCH she’d be if I did? Even if there was no damage done, I’d just probably NEVER hear the end of it.