Holy shit. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Today’s blind item comes from BlindGossip.com, and if there’s any truth behind it, this is some of the most crazy-ass Hollywood shit I have ever heard in my life.

Ready?:

Which A-list film actress, who recently split from her handsome actor-beau, is rumored to be having a lesbian affair with a much older woman? The kicker is that the alleged woman is the ex’s mother.

If you’re doubting even for a second that this is about Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper, than you probably don’t read here very often. As I’ve been pointing out for years now, Bradley Cooper is almost definitely gay and Renée is probably an undercover lesbian herself. What makes this item so scandalous and saucy is not just that Renée’s been running around with her man-beard’s mom, but that we have photos of her and Mrs. Cooper running around like BFFs that we published last year.

At the time I pointed out that the two ladies becoming close was a sign of how seriously Renée and Bradley were taking each other, but in retrospect, these ladies could have TOTALLY been doin’ it. I guess my mind’s just not wired to assume that kind of thing. Like, why would I ever assume that Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper’s mom are hooking up?

Anyway, I’m willing to take any other guesses for this item in the comments, but I’m pretty sure we’ve nailed this one down.

You see that half-naked ginger running into the bushes? That’s comedian Kathy Griffin, who moments before this photo was snapped, was dancing completely topless on a dock in Miami. Titties floppin’ all over the place, the whole deal. We have pictures after the jump, but before you go and check them out (and probably make disparaging remarks about her appearance and behavior in the comments,) can I just say that there’s something so refreshing about how shameless and non-shit giving this lady is? She’s fifty years old, she’s at the highest point in her career, and she still can’t help herself from dancing at the end of the dock like she’s a 16-year-old runaway living off of tips. You’re either the kind of person who can appreciate that level of spiritedness or not, and I’m the former.

Kathy Griffin’s semi-nudes are after the jump, fools. (more…)

The hottest celebrities in their coochie-cutters. [The Frisky]

Britney Spears through the years – the photos are almost heartbreaking. [Celebuzz]

Italy is about to throw a serious smack-down on Jersey Shore. [Right Celebrity]

What do Adam Lambert, Kate Hudson, and Fergie have in common? Uh, this uncomfortable picture. [Socialite Life]

Everyone’s afraid that Chris Brown‘s going to go all Chris Brown on them, ’cause Chris Brown is batshit-fucking-crazy. [The Superficial]

Amber Heard on Playboy. Oh yes. [Caught on Set]

Oh no, more Christina Aguilera nudes. Let’s all hope they’re from five years ago, OK? [Yeeeah]

Rebecca Black Swan: as heinous as you’d think, but oddly satisfying. [OMGBlog]

Katy Perry‘s mom thinks her tits are from the devil. [The Blemish]

Did you know that last night was the first time that Jersey Shore actually aired in Italy?  I guess MTV wanted to give them a little time to get used to our patron saints of pickles and blow for when these kids head their way to film season four, and smart move, because Italy is not feeling it:

“They embody the worst stereotypes of Italians, multiplied by thousands and Americanized,” columnist Roberto Del Bove lamented in the Rome newspaper New Notzie.

A preview of the show posted on an MTV Italia Web page drew some of the sharpest comments.

“When I see this, I wonder whether [Osama] Bin Laden had a point,” wrote one nasty poster.

“Slicked hair, exaggerated narcissism, boundless love for the family and outlandish eccentricity” is how Snooki and company were described yesterday in another major Rome newspaper, Corriere della Sera.

Way harsh.  Osama didn’t even know about Snooki when he made his first move.  And have you seen The Situation’s body? That’s not exaggerated narcissism – if anything, it’s modesty. So save your judgement, Rome and tell me this: when was the last time you made anything as beautiful as Jersey Shore?  I rest my case.

“I’m not the same girl I was five years ago. Hopefully with the choices I’m making, people will start to see that I’m not just little Gabriella.”

Oh, girl.  Vanessa, honey, this is not the way.  That’s why you’ve been making out with your girlfriends and why those nudes of you were released after you got “hacked.” I know that you’re just following in the footsteps of your Disney brethren, but please find another path.  Adulthood feels great until some douchebag knocks you up, and I don’t know your dad, but I’m pretty sure you’ll feel less like a grown up if he has to run your whole life.  Clean it up while you can, sister, that’s all I’m saying.

Remember when Tori Spelling was, like, one of the scary-skinniest celebrities going, and you totally thought that she was going to die from her skinniness at any moment?

Well, thankfully, those days are gone: for the first time in probably years, Tori’s weight seems to have stabilized to the point of being considered ‘healthy,’ and not-at-all-suprisingly, she looks just fine.

I’ve always been a big fan of Tori Spelling AND her role in the original 90210, so I’m glad to see that Tori’s probably going to live to see another few years, if all that business with her cracked-out mother doesn’t kill her first. Because if Donna Martin can’t make it to a 90210 reunion in ten years or so, what the fuck is the point of even HAVING one, you know?