“I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.”
So that, up there? Is why Charlie Sheen no longer has custody of his children, even though he’s going to fight to win them back. Because, you know, it’s totally normal and not-at-all-insane to threaten your ex-wife, the mother of -some- of your children, with a decapitation.
The kids were removed late last night after courts were informed of a threat against Brooke Mueller, and a restraining order remains in effect against Good Time Charlie and his rants – one that also included stabbing Brooke in the eye with a penknife.
Brooke claims that Charlie is on drugs and ‘currently insane,’ but saying it that way kind of implies that there’s something temporary about it, and I, for one, think that’s BS.
Remember way back when Chris Brown brutalized Rihanna in his car after some awards ceremony, resulting in an awful, nightmarish fugue of anger and publicity that lasted for, like, three months? And remember how someone from inside the police force or hospital leaked the abuse photos of Rihanna, and after all that, Chris became kind of a joke in the music industry, not to mention, oh, COMPLETELY SUCKING AT LIFE?
Well everyone still remembers, and because new photos of Rihanna from that night have hit the ‘net recently, someone decided that it’d also be a good idea to release a photo of Chris Brown’s ‘horrific’ injuries, which were taken at approximately the same time as Rihanna’s.
I thought the guy was a total douchebag before this photo, but now? I’m just positive that he’s a complete monster, if there was any lingering doubts from before.
In light of this morning’s news that Christina Aguilera was arrested for being too drunk to function, singer Pink took to her Twitter account and typed out the following message: “Out of Myself, Britney, and Christina- didn’t everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! No CUFFS!!!”
Pink has a decent point: People have been giving her shit since day one. Granted, “troubled and erratic” has always been the image she’s gone for, but she’s definitely not sitting in a jail cell this morning and I doubt she’s going to get that kid she’s pregnant with taken away. Hmm.
On the other hand, Pink was slightly older than Christina and Britney by the time she’d made it big and already had a full past of rabble-rousing before she even landed on our radar. Maybe her story wouldn’t be much different if she’d been thrust into the spotlight as early as Brit and X-Tina were.
I guess one thing we can take from this is that things are rarely as they seem in Hollywood.
Anyway, let’s discuss this. Why do you think it is someone like Pink, whose public image is similar to that of a rabid animal, has been able to stay out of jail while our former pop princesses keep finding themselves in such unfortunate circumstances?
Did you see that exclamation mark at the end of that headline? It’s because I’m incredibly excited about this spring’s cast of Dancing With the Stars. I’m not even being sarcastic, I’m totally, definitely going to watch it. Let me break down the cast and tell you why.
First of all, Kirstie Allie is there, and she’s obviously the big star, which is a little sad. Do you remember when she actually worked and didn’t just talk about her weight all the time? I don’t, I’m too young, but I imagine that would have been a lovely time. Another notable is Ralph Macchio. He was in The Karate Kid. There’s also our beloved Kendra Wilkinson, who is most well known for her sex tapes, I believe. Are you guys psyched yet?
The bulk of the cast consists of people that I’ve never heard of/don’t care about: wrestler Chris Jericho, boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, rapper/actor Romeo Miller, model Petra Nemcova, actress Chelsea Kane, football player Hines Ward, and talk show host Wendy Williams.
Finally, there’s the reason I’m going to watch this season of Dancing With the Stars religiously: Mike Catherwood. Also known as Psycho Mike, he’s a DJ from L.A.’s KROQ station, and he also co-hosts Loveline with Dr. Drew five nights a week. And you guys, he’s a wonderful, beautiful man. Here’s a video where he and Dr. Drew preciously discuss cooking with semen, and here’s a video of him powering through the Cinnamon Challenge. That dude’s going to be waltzing around on my television every week starting on March 21st, and I’m so pumped about it.
So what are your thoughts? Are you going to watch this season? Do you have any predictions about the competition? Are you in love with Mike Catherwood yet? Let me know in the comments.
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