So for the first time since, like, the show began, this is the first year that I haven’t watched American Idol with rapt attention. It wasn’t even because, you know, Simon left. I was more busted up about the departure of Paula Abdul a few seasons ago, but when the time came for the Idol premiere earlier in the year, it also went, and I happened to miss it. I then missed it each week thereafter, and up until watching the above clip, I hadn’t seen a second of this season.

However, THIS GIRL CAN WAIL. Pia Toscano? Even though your name sounds like a chick that The Situation would be proud of banging, or worse, a castmember on Jersey Shore, you gained some serious Idol cred last night. I project that this girl, if not the winner, will be in the top three – and I haven’t even seen the other contestants. (Do I need to?)

Are you guys watching? Do you have a favorite? Does this year suck hard?

I guess I may as well go ahead and make girlfriend a category – it’s probably going to be used quite a bit in the coming months.

Chris Brown pretends like he’s got a penis. I mean, a BIG penis. [The Superficial]

Um, where’s the rest of you, Jonah Hill? [ICYDK]

What ladylike Hollywoood actress curses like a motherfucking sailor? [Pajiba]

Britney‘s being sued over one of her new songs. [Allie is Wired]

Scarlett Johansson rubs her foot up on Sean Penn‘s package a la Weekend at Bernie’s. [Betty Confidential]

Is Jim Carrey … dead? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

What male superstar musician does his laundry at public facilities? [TMZ]

Michael Lohan signs up for a reality show. For real. [Celebrity VIP Lounge]

Behind the scenes of Kim Kardashian‘s new music video (I KNOW – I can’t believe she’s making a video for that hot mess of a song either). [Caught on Set]

Kourtney Kardashian bashes breastfeeding.  [Huffington Post]

Sure beats the snot out of Britney’s ‘This is How I Roll‘ at any rate.

But whatever, I’m going to be walking around all fucking day singing ‘Normalizit, normalizit, normalizit, normalizit,’ and it’s definitely better than having Creed AKA the WORST BAND EVER’s ‘One‘ on loop all day long, like it was yesterday.

Dirt is, the jacked dude above is engaged, and was set to be married later on this year. However, in light of recent events (namely sexting random chicks with pathetic attempts at sexualizing his body – take some TOTALLY NSFW pointers from Jamie Foxx, dude), the wedding’s probably off.

Take your guesses and jump in to find out who the philandering fool is this time around!

(more…)

Aw come on now, is this any way for a budding seventeen-year-old musician/actor/mogul/underage banger of overage chicks to act? It’s evident that little Justin’s been taking tips from his badass elders, so who knows – maybe we’ll see him flashing his tits a la Taylor Momsen, his vadge (hell yes he has one) a la Miley or just, you know, just pretending to be an all-around hardened buster, because guys? He’s CANADIAN. I doubt he’s going to be throwing down anytime soon – it’s why we love Canada. They just don’t buy into this kind of go-on-the-offensive BS.

Maybe his mama should just curtail the free time that he spends with people like Kim Kardashian.

Look, it’s Britney circa 2002! Wait, no – shit, sorry, it’s not. It’s just the Easter egg-type lighting and a new pair of non-deadened-by-sedative eyes, courtesy of Photoshop.

So amazing what they can do with all of those newfangled, computer-generated things these days, huh?

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