Why is Jessica Simpson hitting the bottle so hard lately? [The Superficial]

Charlie Sheen isn’t allowed to see his OTHER kids, now, either. [TMZ]

Here’s the skinny on your American Idol top thirteen (thirteen?). [Socialite Life]

It’s herpes, isn’t it Selena? [The Blemish]

PLEASE do not tell me that this is going to be the new face of men’s hairstyle vogue. [Lainey Gossip]

Puff Daddy arrested? [Caught on Set]

Courtney Love is getting her Twitter comeuppance in the worst way possible. [Huffington Post]

The folks at Armani are really hitting this chick hard for their money, aren’t they? Of course, when you have one of the hottest women in the world endorsing your product, you probably want to show as much of her off as much as you can, so hey. Megan herself probably isn’t complaining too much, being that it’s been the first solid work she’s had since being fired from the Transformers franchise, so do it up, Meg. You’re gorgeous, marginally talented, and you’re married to David Silver. You’re every girl-who-grew-up-in-the-nineties’ wannabe fantasy.

And you guys, of course. Are you yet sick of seeing Megan Fox plastered all over Armani’s kingdom come, or are you like me, and could never tire from Megan overload?

I don’t know whether to point and laugh, have a vom session at the nearest loo, or pity the fuck out of her, but both the first and third options are sounding pretty good right about now (I’ve only had coffee this morning so far, and have you ever chucked just coffee? It’s actually really unpleasant).

Above you see the first post-arrest pictures of Christina Aguilera, who was recently arrested or taken in or something for being so wasted that she didn’t know her own name.  And guys?  She’s looking embarrassed, swollen, and like she’s only now just coming off of a forty-five day bender.

Congrats, girl. You’re just in time for lent.

How long do you think it’ll be before she hits the big time and goes to rehab?

“I can’t front, I just thought she was going to be the new female MC that none of these other female MCs can touch, but now, she’s blossomed into a megastar with this new attitude and this style. Now when I talk to her, I just tell her, ‘Do what you do, baby.’ I used to be able to go into the studio and say, ‘Nah, don’t say that, don’t say that.’ You know, ‘That was better.’ Now, do what you do, baby. I don’t have a clue about what you’re doing right now, but it’s working, [so] do it.”

Lil Wayne on the fame that Nicki Minaj has achieved – even if you don’t get down with the whole R&B and rap scene, numbers don’t lie – Nicki has broken records all over the place and has also been awarded things like Best Female Hip-Hop Artist and Best New Artist.

So don’t worry – I have no idea what the hell Lil Wayne goes on about (um, EVER), either, and my grandma always said it was best to avoid advice from someone who apparently has posture problems.

Bobbi Kristina AKA Bobby & Whitney’s kid has responded to the photos being circulated of her in which she appears to be snorting cocaine and boozing her brains out. Two days in a row, guys. Two days in a row. It’s gonna be that kinda March.

According to NecoleBitchie, all of this was posted to Bobbi K’s Twitter page:

The pictures_ a former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes..But it’s really not what it looks like.. People will do anything for money which is extremely sad, and I’m very hurt by this.Thing’s people do these days to hurt others is a shame. All I can do now, is keep my head up high, keep looking towards the lord.All the lord is telling me is be still. That’s all, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. #BeStill.

I love my family so much. My mom just comforted me to the max, and I’m so thankful for her. Thank you so much lord for blessing me with an Phenomenal family and incredibly phenomenal mother. Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward and put things in the past.

And the person that did this was a result of a horrible relationship that went sour. I was in love_ he was in love with money. I’ve learned My lesson. I’m so much greater and blessed for it today, and I believe nothing less. That is the last I will speak of this, let’s praise god And be greatful and thankful for your family, and people that truly love you, strength, courage, and life lessons learned. GodblessUall «3

Oh, honey. Ask Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, the whole “my friends set me up, it’s not what you think” bit wears thin so quickly. Your parents are famous addicts. If you have to dip into the nose candy like every other young person with a penchant for experimentation, you need make everyone leave their cell phones, Flipcams and tape recorders at the door.

Or maybe just don’t do cocaine.

See, even pretty girls are caught mining for nose gold sometimes, too. [The Superficial]

What Hollywood actress thinks another Hollywood actress is a total cunt? (The answer is not ‘all of them,’ like you probably think.) [Cele|Bitchy]

Of course Miranda Kerr lost all of that baby weight already. [Amy Grindhouse]

What A-list actor (OK, RISING A-list actor, or B-list actor for you pessimists) claims he’s slowly gaining weight, and why? [ICYDK]

Brooke Mueller says everyone has to be tested. [Celebrity VIP Lounge]

THIS MADE MY WEEK: Stars dressed up as Disney characters. And just last night I was saying how great Kim Kardashian would be as Jasmine. [The Frisky]