Now we’re supposed to believe that Charlie Sheen‘s act is all a joke. OK. [The Superficial]

The latest on what Ryan Gosling‘s doing. Does it matter, really what it is? HE’S HOT. [Lainey Gossip]

Did Keira Knightley lose even more weight? [Cele|Bitchy]

Lindsay Lohan is not only super hot as of late, but she’s really engaging on video, too. [TMZ]

Kirstie Alley has already begun to lose weight practicing with Dancing With the Stars – PHOTOS [The Blemish]

What Celebrity Rehab contestant allegedly threatened suicide? [Right Celebrity TV]

Lily Allen reveals a big, horrible secret. [Huffington Post]

Oh blue-haired Katy Perry. Where does this heinous crap come from? Is the blue hair an alter-ego? Is the blue hair a sign of crazy times to come? Is it a private sex joke between you and your wacked-out husband, Russell Brand? A political statement? A way to encourage young boys to lift their chins and smooch up on your funeral parlor makeup-caked decolletage? And perhaps MOST importantly, DOES IT MATCH YOUR PUBES?

Proof or it didn’t happen. Please.

I don’t know about you, but I’m all about seeing celebrities without makeup, without Photoshop, without all of the glitz and the glam that goes along with walking the red carpet for whatever event or hitting up the walk outside of David Letterman’s studio. It means a bunch to know that many of these celebrities are normal-looking people that just happen to have the benefit of possessing some of the finest makeup artists and stylists in the world to make them look almost supernatural - and it’s wicked encouraging for the quite-average-looking person like myself.

So here’s Whitney Port getting a manicure. And guys? She looks like my next-door neighbor. … If, you know, my next-door neighbor wasn’t a sixty-six year-old man that walked with a limp and a leer and shook his fist every time I went outside.

Without makeup.

The chick turned eighteen over the weekend, and photos of her blowing lines like it’s her job surfaced, so what’s next, naturally? A SEX TAPE! Yes! Of course!

Bobbi Kristina, who is daughter to the Original Cracked-Out Couple, Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, is said to allegedly star in a home video that probably won’t hit the markets, due to those, you know, child pornography laws that are in place protecting stupid-assed teenagers from flaunting their stuff for creepy perverts worldwide to view.  See, the video was made before this past weekend, and as I said, Bobbi Kristina just turned eighteen a few days ago. For all of you that can’t do the math, that makes Bobbi-girl’s video action ILLEGAL to view.

I guess it’s not a complete wash, though – the benefits are definitely two-fold: you don’t go to jail for exploiting underage girls, and you don’t have to suffer through viewing a female Bobby Brown lookalike getting it on. (Because what’s much scarier than that, really?)

Count your lucky stars, guys.

“Jon has not called me. He’s a turncoat, a traitor, a troll. … Is it going to take me calling him a ‘traitor, juvenile and scared’ for him to get it? … [And if he does call?] What’s there to say? I’ll tell him, ‘You’re a little late. Goodbye, troll’.”

Well hell. Charlie Sheen says something that I actually agree with. You mean to tell me that co-star – and alleged FRIEND – Jon Cryer hasn’t gotten a hold of him, hasn’t reached out to find out what the fuck is up with all of this psychotic behavior, when the two have been working together for so long, in such a close proximity?

Damn, Jon. That’s not very friendly.

I’d call the little wuss a troll, too. Jeez.

So Ashlee and Pete filed for divorce, we all know that.  We also all know that the couple has an adorable little child.  But where is the child going to end up?

Ashlee wants joint legal custody, but sole physical custody, which pretty much just means “Mommy will drop you off at Daddy’s house for the weekend sometimes.”  Not surprisingly, Pete is not into that at all. In case you couldn’t tell, Pete just adores his son, so he’s fighting for joint physical custody as well.

The weirdest thing about all this, to me, at least, is that Ashlee requested that Pete pay all the legal fees, but Pete suggested that they split it.  Is any one else put off by that?  Bitch should have her own money, if she couldn’t stick around with Pete, she shouldn’t get to touch the “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” funds, right?