I’ll just save you the time of skimming the post for the word “cocaine” or “pain killers”… Homegirl’s addicted to Angry Birds. You know, that game that housewives and fat dudes are always playing on their iPhones?

Anna went to the grad opening of a restaurant last night and told the folks at PopStopTV.com that she thinks her Angry Birds addiction might warrant a visit from Dr. Drew or Jeff VanVonderen any day now. The Twilight actress said, “Oh, actually, I was playing it in the car on the way over here, is that bad? No, I have like 3 stars on every level. It’s disgusting how much I play that game. It’s not like ‘Oh, what level am I on,’ It’s like ‘Do I need therapy to break myself from playing Angry Birds?’”

I personally have never played this game, but I feel like it’s all anyone talks about these days (besides Charlie Sheen and like, actual world news.) Can any of you Angry Bird addicts out there tell me what makes the game so very awesome and why it’s so addictive?

Chris Brown refers to his massive assault on Rihanna as a ‘mishap.’ That’s alright.  I’m still laughing at his penis. [The Superficial]

Salma Hayek is now a Parisian housewife and I want to bang her even more. [Lainey Gossip]

Hot male stars go drag. Happy Hump Day. [Betty Confidential]

Pete Wentz agrees to pay legal fees for a divorce he didn’t want while licking Ashlee Simpson‘s asshole. [Amy Grindhouse]

Shit, and I thought that was The Situation. [ICYDK]

What female celebrity wants to have her face on a condom? [The Frisky]

Halle Berry wears a serious crazy face. [Caught on Set]

Um, I didn’t know Britney had a tattoo there. [OMGBlog]

Awkward-ass Britney photo courtesy of Just Jared

Kate’s the cover girl for the April issue of British Vogue. In due time, I’m sure we’ll hear all about her interview with the magazine, which includes talk of Kate’s recent divorce and her “famous figure,” but for now all anyone really cares about is her hair.  It’s so short and blonde, you guys.  Do you love it or what?

Personally, I feel like Kate Winslet is just one of those people who can’t do anything wrong.  I mean, she did let Jack freeze to death in the ocean, but I suppose that wasn’t really Kate. Were she in that predicament, I’m sure the real Kate would have done something along the lines of sharing that big floating door, or at least taking turns so that both of them froze to death just a little.  If Kate promised that she’d never let go, she wouldn’t pry your hand away from hers and let you die, she’d hold on because she’s Kate motherfucking Winslet, and when she makes a promise, she damn sure keeps it.  I’m sorry, am I rambling?  IjustloveKateWinsletsomuch.

Please use the comments to discuss Kate’s new hair, how wonderful she is, or any grudges that you still hold from Titanic.

Remember that time that Mel Gibson was a psychotic abusive asshole and his girlfriend recorded all those tapes to prove it? Yeah, he’s been in court for that, and surprise!  Mel got a deal – he’ll plead no contest to simple battery in court on Friday, and the court will be like “ok, just don’t do it again.”  Well, all right, he’ll have to go to counseling as well, but does that even count as a sentence for a crime?  I thought it fell more under the category of a painfully obvious necessity at this point. Apparently the plea deal was a tough decision for Mel because, according to TMZ, he “believed he could win the case — he struck the deal to protect his loved ones.”  Oh, right, because that’s what Mel Gibson’s all about, protecting his loved ones. Solid move, court.

Note to all the douchebags out there:  it’s totally cool to knock around your girl and scream and pant at her 24/7, trying to get her to blow you.  That’s absolutely fine, you won’t get in trouble at all.  As long as you do Braveheart first.

Well isn’t this just cozy. You know, I know that Avril Lavigne has been dating Brody Jenner for a minute, and Brody Jenner is Kim Kardashian’s half-brother or step-brother or whatever, but it never really dawned on me that Avril and Kim would have any kind of connection on any level other than, like, similar vaginal swabs (they’re probably both pretty dank down there). But alas, the impossible can be done – the deceptively lovely Kim faces off with the apparently nasty Avril and guys? They look like they get along pretty well, actually.

And by ‘get along pretty well,’ of course I mean ‘Kim’s way embarrassed to be seen with someone who looks so much like Bat Boy.’

Caption it.

I know a lot of you guys have some strong opinions about the validity of Scarlett Johansson’s career, but SINCE SHE STARRED in my FAVORITE MOVIE of ALL TIME, she can do no wrong in my eyes. Plus, she’s so hot it’s just disgusting. I don’t care if she fucks Sean Penn, Dan Aykroyd (I had to Google the spelling of that shit), Forrest Whittaker, or Kirk ‘Decrepit-Ass’ Douglas – girlfriend’s smoking hot and I hope she’s a staple on the celebrity scene for as long as I’m alive.

Have your say – Is Scarlett Johansson an amazingly talented actress?

Have you say … again – Is Scarlett Johansson one of the HOTTEST BABES EVER?