“You can’t blame people for how they want to be portrayed or if they don’t want to be associated with somebody who had a particular mishap.”

The mishap he’s referring to? Two guesses: not the pencil dick photos floating around the web, or even the really cheesy video that sensually skims his body up and down to vague R&B music that belongs on the set of Waiting to Exhale – he’s referring to the Rihanna incident – the one where he almost beat her face flat and then nearly choked her to death. You know – THAT particular ‘mishap.’

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I also think it’s pretty funny that his latest album is to be titled ‘F.A.M.E.,’ an acronym for ‘forgiving all my enemies.’ I really like the whole forgiveness thing, it’s, you know, a crucial part to being a successful human being even if it’s not always easy to forgive and let go, but Chris … damn, boy. If you gave the same careful attention to your words as you do mowing the lawn for Dick and his two nutty friends, you might be better off.

My my my. Britney Spears is finally starting to resemble something from out of 2001, almost. Her body is hotter than ever, her smiles are a little more genuine rather than uncertain and confused these days, and I think Photoshop finally designed that ‘removal of dead eyes’ feature that’s been coming down the pike for ages now. Good job, Photoshop dudes. And good job to whoever Britney’s stylist is that they managed an acceptable, almost natural position for that wonky nylon Barbie doll weave.

Lookin’ hot, girl – keep up the happy!

Oh this was some news waking up this morning. Heck yes. Justin Bartha and Ashley Olsen, who dated for, like, fifteen years (alright, I give: it was only two) have split, sources confirm.

I’ve loved Justin Bartha for a really, really long time, and I’m not going to lie – I was totally devastated when I found out that Ashley and he might be shacking up together at one of her places in New York City. I mean, do you KNOW how HARD IT IS to break people up when they LIVE together? Heavens, I’m not even gonna GO there today.

Anyway, in light of Justin’s grand return to the male meat market, I’ve compiled a list, a similar list to the one that featured the ten hottest women in Hollywood, so cast your vote once and move it on, please.

#10 – Colin Firth

#9 – Ralph Fiennes

#8 – Rupert Friend

#7 – Ashton Kutcher

#6 – Justin Bartha

#5 – Joaquin Phoenix

#4 – Michiel Huisman

#3 – Bear Grylls

#2 – Ryan Gosling

#1 – Adrien Brody

Photo of Justin and Ashley courtesy of Just Jared

Somewhere between the 80s and present day, Demi Moore has had work done to her face. What exactly that work is, I don’t know, but I’m hoping you can help me figure it out by answering in the comments. If I had to take a guess, I’d say she’s gotten some sort of partial face lift and now continues to seal the deal with occasional botox treatments.

Normally celebrity plastic surgery turns out to be a total shitshow that completely ruins the face of the person we once knew, but Demi is a pretty good example of how a little bit of maintenance can go a long way. At the very least, she was able to score a 12-year old husband.

Melissa Joan Hart, why are you giving me such an awful case of the sads?

The former Clarissa Explains It All and Sabrina The Teenage Witch actress had a gig in New York the other day promoting National Breakfast Day. As you flip through the gallery below and see photo after photo of Melissa posing with Snap, Crackle and Pop and high-fiving kids as they chow down on various Kellogg’s cereals, try and think about what must have gone wrong in this woman’s career for her to be reduced to this kind of embarrassing promotional appearance. Do any of these kids even know who she is? Do they even rerun Sabrina anymore? These munchkins are probably looking at her like, “Yeah, this cereal is great, but who the fuck are you?”

It seems like being a former child star can only result in two things: Being a total wreck or a complete nobody.

Miley Cyrus may not be on great terms with her dad, but it seems like she’ll do anything for her mom, including getting up in the face of some careless paparazzo.

Yesterday the singer and her mom Tish were eating at California Chicken Cafe (which always makes me LOL because back in like 2007, my gay husband used to practically stalk some dude that usually ate there and I’d get manic texts like, “OMG, I’m at California Chicken Cafe and the husband alarm just went off in here! Ding ding ding!”), and when they left, they were rushed by a couple of cameramen that had been waiting to swoop in. One of the paps was so desperate to get shots of Miley that he ran into her mother, swiping her with his camera. That’s when Miley lost her damn mind.

There’s a good 30 seconds of Miley telling off this dude and it’s pretty respectable. Tish seems like she could barely give a shit (I guess that’s what happens when you fuck Bret Michaels,) but it was really sweet of Miley to stand up for her like that. It showed that that big mouth of hers can be used for good, too.