See that lady in the photo above?  That’s Mary Perry Hudson (the older lady, not weird-looking Katy Perry – that picture was taken in 2008, but doesn’t she look way different?), and she’s got some words to say.  Before we analyze anything, let’s just take a gander at Mom’s book proposal:

“Amid a torrent of negative reports from tabloid magazines and entertainment shows, Mary Hudson wants to tell ‘her story’ and dispel a lot of rumors. Katy’s success has impacted her ministry in both negative and positive ways. She loves her daughter very much and is very proud of her accomplishments, but disagrees with a lot of choices she makes in her career. This memoir is to set the record straight. It is not Christian proselytizing or a Katy Perry tell-all. It is the story of Mary Perry Hudson.”

I think they threw in that “it’s not Christian proselytizing or a Katy Perry tell-all” because it’s Christian proselytizing AND a Katy Perry tell-all.  Because not trying to be rude or anything, but who would buy a book about some lady who just happened to be Katy Perry’s mom?

Based on Mrs. Mary Perry Hudson’s past statements, I would definitely be interested in reading this book.  I would read all about Katy’s promotion of those damned homosexuals and how “I Kissed a Girl” hurt the Lord Jesus Christ’s feelings, and I would do so because I love absurdism.  What about you?

Did you watch it?  If you did, then you know that Donald Trump definitely wasn’t the belle of the ball – that honor belongs to The Situation.  His jokes for Donald and the rest of the roasters were not only hilarious, they were also followed by a touching and graceful message of respect and admiration for all involved.  Oh, wait, that wasn’t The Situation?  His segment was riddled with boos and he he had to be rescued by Jeffrey Ross?  That doesn’t seem right to me.

Maybe The Situation looked so bad on TV last night because Comedy Central edited out some of his best jokes:

“Yo Snoop, what up dawg … you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump’s ancestors were into real estate … and your ancestors were considered property.”

“I’m not from New Jersey … I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough … not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana … Relax, she didn’t even hear it … I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee  … have you ever done anything else actually?”

“Trump is a good looking dude … if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin’s ears.”

Sarcasm aside, too far, The Situation. Whatever happened to all your inspirational words, and why couldn’t you spare a few for beautiful Marlee Matlin?

Neve Campbell, who’s ramping up on a publicity blitz for the upcoming Scream 4 (are you totally excited? I’m totally excited), recently gave an interview with Health magazine, where she’ll be the cover model for the April issue. Neve, who was always what many would consider ‘average’ in her body type, and probably ‘fat’ in the world of celebrities, addresses the varied issues like body image and dieting:

Neve, on who’s to blame for the scary-skinny fads:

“Women put the pressure on ourselves. Let’s look toward the environment and charity, [and] have less of a focus on our appearance…It’s ridiculous. I remember watching CNN once, and on the bottom ticker it said something like, ‘Beyoncé no longer wants to be called Bootylicious.’”

On what it’s like to lose and gain weight for movie roles:

“There’s definitely a standard that is expected…I watched too many of my dancer friends throwing up. They’d end up really sick, or in the hospital, or not being able to have children. And I won’t do that to myself. Maybe I’m not a stick, but I’m really healthy and happy, and I think I look good.”

On bashing fad diets:

“I did the Atkins thing about seven years ago, and it didn’t make me feel good at all. And if you look at it, that much fat and meat is just wrong.”

I think Neve’s got a bunch of really valid points. I think we all struggle with the hand that we’ve been genetically dealt sometimes, and it’s empowering to hear something like this come from a woman who’s healthy, accomplished, and beautiful. Her confidence practically radiates from what she’s saying, and it’s fab that she’s not out there pointing the finger at certain groups, people, or ideas that pressure solely comes from the outside.

This male celebrity (I know y’all probably thought it was Ke$ha for a minute) is recently married, a recent dad, and always, always way hot. He looks awesome in any hair color, and has been a variety of shades in his films, which always do pretty well in theaters.

Take your guesses and jump in to find out what hot head belongs to that asscrack, eventually.

(more…)

Justin Bieber feels himself up in public. [The Superficial]

Demi Lovato gets a tattoo for her fans and that’s not weird at all. [Celebuzz]

Did Claire Danes get some serious plastic surgery? [Lainey Gossip]

There’s more to the Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel breakup than we thought, natch. [Cele|Bitchy]

Angelina calls Snooki a ‘fat troll,’ and of course, guess what’s going to happen now. [TMZ]

What American Pie star is now in rehab too? *Hint: It’s NOT Tara Reid this time. [The Blemish]

Did Usher’s wife not know she was being filmed during sex? [Right Celebrity TV]

What celebrities are married and cheating? [Huffington Post]

And according to sources, this is precisely what she left school for.

Emma, who I think is absolutely adorable and talented and sweet and just DARLING, was photographed for the first of many contractual Lancome ads, and I’m totally loving everything … except the hat and the hair. It’s a little too Annie Hall for me, but hey. At least Emma’s got the decency to be of age and not flashing her bits and pieces like some other (REALLY NSFW) young starlets that have come before her, you know?