If there’s a God in heaven, and I surely believe there is, then yes, we will.

Vanessa Hudgens, who was recent victim of a photo hacking job that resulted in a bunch of nude and lesbian-themed photos to leak, according to law enforcement, was not the only one who had pictures stolen. Sources at TMZ claim that over 50 celebrities had photos hacked from their cell phones and computers, (fuck, that’s a whole WEBSITE IN ITSELF, could you imagine the revenue?!) and someone who claims to have seen some of the photos says that Scarlett Johansson is one of those who had the nudes pilfered.

Now first of all, if you take nude pictures with your cell phone, what do you EXPECT to happen. Seriously. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but there’s a ton of them out there who will insist that anything transmitted electronically via telephone interface is seen by a lot of people, even though you think it’s private. I’m not going to endorse that, but I’m not going to disagree with it entirely, either.

I didn’t run the Vanessa Hudgens photos for fear of being thrown in jail – there’s a rumor going around that girlfriend was under eighteen when they were taken – but I can definitely tell you: any of-age celebrity that’s got naked photos floating about? You WILL more than likely see them run here. It’s the nature of the beast, you guys – you get caught with your pants down (um, quite literally), then don’t whine about people seeing your junk.

So here’s something I’ve been wondering for like, five years now: Have the Olsen Twins had something done to their faces?

I know, I know, they grew up in the public eye, so obviously we’ve seen their faces morph quite a bit since their Full House days, but do the little girls in the left photo up top look like younger versions of the girls in the right photo? I’m thinkin’ no. A couple of nose jobs? Maybe. Some veneers? Probably. And obviously their penchant for extensions and trying out new hair colors has had an overall effect on their look… but I can’t be positive if any of this is right. Most of the plastic surgery we see is so blatant that it’s hard to pick up on the well done stuff.

What kind of work do you think Mary-Kate and Ashley have had done, if any? I could talk about this all day, so feel free to get really into this with me…

Suri Cruise and her mom Katie Holmes went on a snack run yesterday in NYC and Suri, who under the law of Scientology is never told the word “no”, picked up a particularly inappropriate munchie: A box of penis-shaped gummi candies. Whether or not she wound up taking the treat home, I don’t know. Perhaps she found a labia-shaped lolipop or some other completely inappropriate candy, but all I care about is the photos. Gotta love Katie’s face in that last shot.

Of course this is extra hilarious because we just learned about Suri’s pacifier addiction last week. I’m not going to write any jokes that hint at how inappropriate it is for a child with an oral fixation to eat dick-shaped treats, but know that I’m thinking the exact same thing you are.

“All of my experiences in the past year, and everything that’s happened to me, I thank God for it. You have to take the good with the bad and you have to take the bad with the good. If you’re in this business, if you’re in the spotlight, you have to be able to take criticism and you have to take the punches along the way.”

- Christina Aguilera, talking about the highs and lows that come with fame, to Extra.

Um, I’m a pretty big believer in bad things equaling good things in the long run, but I’m thinking that Christina may have come to the conclusion to be grateful for her tumultuous year a bit too soon. The singer’s drinking seems to be a huge problem, her divorce isn’t even final yet, and it’s pretty hard to see the good in a nude photo scandal. It seems like embracing her low-points and stumbles could be another great excuse to not fix any of the problems they caused if she’s not careful, y’know?

Well, you can’t. You could have followed a fake Halie Jade Mathers, who was working under the handle @Angry_Blonde, up until yesterday, but the account has been taken down and been revealed as a hoax.

What was there was pretty good, though: Attractive photos of a teenage girl, and some pretty philosophical and interesting Tweets (“People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. Ironically, in reality, things are being loved & people are being used.”) that I wish could have come from the mind of the real Halie, who is a high school cheerleader and pretty much off the radar all together.

Below is a gallery of the fake Halie Jade and see a photo of the real Halie Jade at the end, who (unfortunately) is the spitting image of her mother Kim.

And BTW, while we’re on the subject, I really respect that Eminem has seemingly worked hard to keep his daughter out of the spotlight. I get the vibe that she’s very much a normal high school student who isn’t overly influenced by her father’s wealth and fame. Who would have thought that the little girl whose father rapped about going on murdering sprees would look like the girl from the trailer park next door?

I can’t believe Courteney Cox admitted this. [Betty Confidential]

Christina Aguilera lost a bunch of weight over the past week, except for in her dead fish-bloated face. [The Superficial]

Tina Fey looks HOT for InStyle! [Amy Grindhouse]

First photos of Elizabeth Hurley in Wonder Woman. [ICYDK]

Want to have sex with a celebrity? Uh, now you can. [The Frisky]

Audrina Patridge‘s boobs are filming a new reality show. [Caught on Set]

Did you catch the Glee-ful gay kiss? [OMGBlog]

To diffuse lesbian rumors, Vanessa Hudgens goes out and gets herself a new man. [Celebuzz]