This is Rebecca Black. She’s 13, and her first music video currently has just over 5.5 million views on YouTube. Sound familiar?
Ok, I could break down this shitty song all day long. I could mock the lyrics (I know it’s hard to figure out which seat to take in a car full of people, but the first verse in your pop song is not the place to discuss that), I could mock her baby Ke$ha voice, I could even raise concerns over why a 13-year-old girl is friends with a dude who can drive a car and doesn’t mind dropping her off at middle school. I could do all of those things, but I won’t, because this girl’s 13 and it’s just sad.
The thing is that little Rebecca’s song and video were made by a company called Ark Music Factory, a terrifying place where parents can pay to have their little angels star in their very own music video. If you check out Ark’s YouTube channel, you can see all sorts of teenage girls in embarrassing videos, and if that wasn’t as creepy for you to read as it was for me to write, then you’re part of the problem.
Look, if this girl was a grown woman with a knowledge of how ridiculous she sounds like Ke$ha or if she was legitimately talented with some swagger like Justin Bieber, I’d be all over her. But she’s not. She’s a misguided girl that the whole internet is laughing at, and she doesn’t deserve it. That horrible company that wrote the song and produced the video do – seriously, whoever masterminded this shit show needs to reconsider every choice they’ve ever made in their lives.
What do you guys think?