Am I wrong, or was this past weekend kind of lame? For instance, I had a nightmare about Fred and George Weasley, I learned the hard way that Stars Wars cookies don’t go well with margaritas, and I kept thinking the same damn thing: “there’s just no reason for this.” That kind of thinking must have carried over to my obsessive Twitter viewing, because I kept having that thought when I was trying to find appropriate celebrity tweets to bring to you on this day. So let’s check out these senseless tweets, and then take a vote.
I know, Snooki, I get really depressed too when I know I can’t sit with a bunch of strangers and be reminded of my total inability to chit-chat while some angry Vietnamese man jerks my hands around and yells at me for not picking the right nail shape. I know that’s hard. But you can beat this.
Elizabeth Banks, I love you. I really do. But you have got to be more careful, sister. I got a box of Samoas yesterday too, but I got them by going to my grandma’s house and having a nice Sunday dinner and then talking to my cousin, whose daughter is a Girl Scout. I didn’t make careless decisions on the road that endangered lives. I thought you were smarter than that, Elizabeth.
Whatever, Soulja Boy. Rodney King sang the same song, and you know where he ended up? Celebrity Rehab. As long as there are Paris Hiltons and Sarah Palins in this world, I’m pretty sure everyone just getting along is just a pipe dream.